5 steps to find your purpose in life
If you look around the world it’s full of people who can inspire you: Think about Steve Jobs, Elon Musk, Michael Jordan, and so on.
And if you keep thinking about it there are inspiring people also in direct contact with your life: personally, I get inspired by my grandpa, by my father, and by some friends of mine.
That’s why, a few days ago, I asked myself:” Why some people are so inspiring and determined and most of us aren’t?”
Then, yesterday, It dawned on me: all those people are following their passion: they have something to chase.
So I asked myself again:” Where do people like that come from? Why do I and most of my friends feel empty and demotivated?”. So I started thinking that you have to be lucky to find your passion, that it’s a gift because passion is something that’s only emotional, you can’t find it rationally.
I couldn’t be more wrong: I started looking around to see how famous people like Steve Jobs found their passion, and their path and I found out that there is a way to find your passion: you just need to unite the five points that I’m about to introduce you about and you’ll get close enough to find your passion. Let’s begin with the first point.
1. What did you love doing while you were a child?
There’s this psychotherapist, called Eric Maisel, who argues that what we used to love doing as kids is most likely what we’ll love doing as adults. So try to figure out the things you loved doing while you were a child.
I used to love to chat with my friends and convince my friends to do things together, but most of all I loved to write and tell stories and today here I am writing about the things that I like to share.
2. Are/were you obsessed with something?
Has there ever been a time when you were obsessed with something? Is there anything that you have repeated in an obsessive way for a short period? The scientist Mark Lewis sustains that when you find yourself in front of your passion you become obsessed with that because your brain releases some dopamine ( the molecule of pleasure) that makes you come back as soon as you can to do something related to the things you like doing.
I have a friend who loves to play basketball, he also was pretty good at it. He was so obsessed with that sport that he used to prefer playing basketball to going out with friends. Nowadays he’s a basketball coach. He wasn’t good enough to play for a major league, but he kept going with his passion and became an instructor, so he could still work close enough to what he loved doing.
Now don’t get me wrong: not everything you like to do is related to your passion: everybody likes to spend time on social media o watching movies but it doesn’t mean that this is what defines us from others.
So you need to recognize the things you’re made for and the things that are only a distraction or a pleasure.
3. Follow your idols
Who are your idols? It doesn’t matter whether they’re real people or some character. Idols tell us something about who we are because of the Protective Identification Mechanism.
Now you’re probably wondering:” What does it mean?”. Well, let me tell you: it means that most likely what you love the most about your idol is already inside you, but you don’t recognize it because you’re underestimating yourself.
So analyze the things that your idols have in common and their features.
4. What we do is what we are
Everything we do makes us what we are today. So it’s really important to ask yourself:” How this experience changed me?”. Even the most insignificant experience can influence us or upset our view of ourselves.
For example, I used to play basketball and to touch the guitar.
Now those things weren’t my passion, but I’ve learned from all of them: from basketball, I’ve learned how to work in a team and how to be determined, and from playing the guitar I’ve learned how to listen and how to evoke emotions.
So think:” What did you learn from your past experiences?”. It could be anything: some kind of sport, doing theatre, or playing any musical instrument.
5. Ask your best friend
This is one of the easiest and, at the same time, hardest points: you just need to ask your close friends this question:” What’s so special in me that makes me different from other people?”. Now your friends will probably give you a generic answer like:” I don’t know, you’re a really nice guy”.
That’s when you need to go deeper: be more insistent and keep asking him for more details. Soon or late he’ll stop talking about you and will start to talk about how he feels when he’s with you. This is the moment when he’s going to say something very useful to you.
Now it’s time to connect the dots:
take the thing you loved doing as a child, your obsession, your idol’s personality, your experiences, and your best friends’ advice and connect them all. You’ll see what’s your passion.
I tried this exercise and I found out that I love to communicate, express myself, and share my ideas and thoughts.
Now it’s time for you to connect your dots. I’d love it if you’d give me feedback in the comments and tell me if this helped you find your passion like it helped me.
Remember
When you’ll find your passion don’t feel demotivated or empty because you don’t have the tools or the possibility, or if you don’t feel enough to follow your passion, remember: there’s nobody with the same combination of experiences that you have. So don’t let other people demoralize you.
Connect your dots, find your passion, and make a difference by doing what you love.
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