A Message From Your Vision Board
Congrats! You’re finally done with Vision Board 2020 aka me. Your vision is so clear, it’s like you have dare I say, 20/20 vision. I’m loving the custom font you painstakingly stenciled and cut out with your own two hands. You have blisters the size of Ritz crackers but it’s nothing a little aloe vera can’t fix. You wear your scars with pride knowing that you are going places this year! You spent three weeks working on me, so what? Nobody died. Not that you know of anyway because you weren’t paying any attention to the many SOS texts and emails you were getting while working on me. You were hyper focused and that makes it okay if you missed someone’s funeral. There will be more. You only skipped out on four days of work, two birthday dinners, and a family outing to see the Christmas lighting at Rockefeller Center, but at least you got done gluing your dreams to a piece of 24x36 foam board.
Your kids will forgive you for forgetting to pick them up from school. It’s totally fine that the principal had to drive them home. They do that in the movies all the time and your life is like a movie because that’s one of your goals for 2020. Also, don’t worry that your friends are upset with you. Everyone knows how dedicated you are to your craft and if your friends can’t forgive you for skipping Lisa’s intervention over her gambling addiction, then you’ll just have to add ‘find new friends’ on your vision board. Maybe if Lisa had something she was passionate like you do she wouldn’t be a gambling addict! Anyway, might I suggest the picture of the Friends cast drinking milkshakes? Your friends should understand and support your decision to neglect them to work on your Vision Board because without me you are lost and incontinent. How would ever know what you want from life if it isn’t staring at you from a distance every single day?
Make lists? Preposterous.
You get to put glitter on vision boards. You can’t do that with lists. I mean, the glitter along the edges and the stickers you found in your old high school journal is a great touch on me. It definitely says “I have goals but I’m fun about it” and not “My family couldn’t afford to buy me Lisa Frank supplies growing up so now I’m compensating”. And you know what else? You will totally use all the supplies you purchased to design Vision Board 2020 for other projects because you’re a resourceful bitch. Your husband thinks that buying a new laminator, an industrial glue gun, and going into some soft debt for a replicator 3D printer wasn’t a good idea but what does he know? The man uses his phone calendar and nothing else. No written planners or post-its like some kind of efficient monster.
Without the 3D printer you would never be able to make a replica of the house you want to buy. I’m glad you didn’t just print out the picture of the house like your husband begged you to because that would make you basic. Making a mini replica of the house you want says you are dedicated to your vision in 2020. And even though you did miss little Sarah’s important recital (your daughter, remember her? Brown hair, adorable glasses?) to finish me, it’s fine because she gets to play with the 3D house on weekends. See? Resourceful.
You’re so outstanding at making vision boards, you could design vision boards for a living but you won’t because you have better goals which are showcased on me for easy viewing. If you didn’t have me, you would forget everyday of your life what you aspire to and that includes owning a Berkin bag off a registered nurse’s salary. It’s not unattainable, it’s aspirational. Get that Berkin bag, girl.
