Day 55: the dance between empathy + passion
In the 21st century, and really, ever since the scientific revolution, we have striven for something called “objectivity.” The idea is to remove ourselves and our own thoughts and biases from our study or understanding of a particular phenomenon.
I can’t speak for the “hard” sciences, because my knowledge is limited, but in the social sciences, I’m sceptical that objectivity can or does exist. Everything from the question we ask, to the interactions we have with survey participants, to the absurdity of surveys themselves — where for similar questions, I give “1s,” “5s,” and “10s” based on whatever examples come in my mind at the time — to our analysis, which is necessarily limited by our own ignorance.
If we could acknowledge our own fallibility, then, instead of objectivity, we could instead aim for empathy and for understanding multiple perspectives. Inherent in empathy is an intent to listen for, watch and catch our own biases and the peculiarities that blind our vision. As we sail beyond our own view, we come to see people’s actions with the same sympathy with which we see our own — that there are reasons and histories behind all of the things we do. Living empathetically is one way of fostering communities of understanding and dialogue.
But on the other hand, I’ve found that it dampens my ability to sustain the energy I need to drive change in myself and in my community; I begin to passively accept injustices as the outcome of complicated systems. While empathy may point you in the right direction, it won’t fuel your journey. The energy required for staring and sustaining movements across the days, months, and years requires a much more steadfast belief and commitment in your cause.
I’ve found that this holds true not only for movements whose methods are protest, resistance, and claims against the state, but also for those who seek to bring about a revolution in thought. Empathy and understanding don’t push you through late nights or moments of self-doubt.
Ironically, even if you wanted to bring a revolution in empathy, I don’t think you could do it just using pure empathy or by simply being empathetic. Empathy and understanding are like emotional cruise control, as different perspectives settle into some kind of balance. But sometimes what’s needed is a turbo charge to fuel creative outbursts and breakthroughs. In these cases, empathy does little; stubborn, self-righteous passion is required.
Yet, turbo charge is unsustainable; it burns too much gas. The engine heats and heats and heats until it can take no more. Slowly, but surely, even the ignition starts to go. It takes a push and 3–4 starts to get going. And fixing things is expensive, as the fallout extends beyond the physical to the emotional and social, as you become miserable and even more miserable to those around you — especially those closest to you.
Creatively, too, you become insular. Moving at such high speeds that the poetic beauty, mini subcultures and worlds, and all the interconnectedness blends into one invisible blob.
What I strive for and imagine is some kind of partner dance, where both sides are capable of leading and both sides are capable of following. A symphony of subtle bodily whispers and tags — an almost, cosmic, intuitive understanding like when you and your love start to say the same things. Passionate, creative steps padded by empathy and understanding.
This is where I want to be. But instead, what I get are stepped-on-toes, awkward confusion, and a final understanding that the two can’t dance together. At least not in me. At least not yet.
