“Patriarchal femininity, like patriarchal masculinity, stems from the way that society socializes women and girls to fit into their prescribed gender role. In patriarchal society this means an emphasis on child-rearing, being agreeable, being passive, deferring to male authority, focusing on virginity and purity, and a pressure to conform one’s physical appearance to please the male gaze.”
I would challenge two parts of this paragraph, firstly concerning child rearing. I think that it is a plausible rule of thumb that if a behaviour is present in all societies it indicates that it is something inate in humans, if some societies don’t have behaviour then it indicates its socially motivated.
As far as I’m aware in all societies women are considered, and consider themselves, to be the primary child carer. This isn’t surprising, as the process of pregnancy, child birth and suckling will have had an effect. So I don’t see this as societal pressure but as an inate behaviour.
Again, the desire of women to attract the male gaze seems to be universal and part of the sex drive. We can see this reflected in the unconscious behaviour of women to wear skimpier clothing, more jewelry and more makeup when they are ovulating (they also have a tendancy to be more careless with contraception).
What is being missed here is the ways that female emancipation is uncovering behaviours that we always thought of as the result of toxic masculity but are taken up by women in increasing numbers. I would include in this the use of pornography and prostitution. In addition we now know that women are as likely to abuse children and in an intimate partner relationship are more likely to be controlling and abusive.
When feminists tell us how women can do anything a man can do, they tend to gloss over the fact that this is a double edged sword.
