A Spooky Halloween Story?…
“Hello?”
“Hey, Beauty. I’m calling to let you know I made it to the hotel.”
(I just finished driving 8 hours from Fort Worth to Newton, Kansas. I am on the phone with my wife.)
“How was the drive? And how are you feeling?”
59 is fun. I had a colonoscopy this morning. I was out cold for 3 hours while they did the procedure. They told me not to drive or operate any heavy machinery today.
Obviously, they don’t know me very well.
“The drive was not the best. It rained all the way from Fort Worth to Oklahoma City. Two accidents on I-35 during rush hour in Oklahoma City. An hour just sitting in traffic.
“As for how I’m feeling? Well, you know that laxative I took to clean me out? Let’s just say it’s still working.”
“Oh my. How many times did you have to stop?”
“If you see on the news that 2 Quicktrips and 1 OnCue had to be shutdown due to biohazard/terrorism concerns, it wasn’t terrorism. At least not on purpose.”
“At least you made it to the hotel safely.”
“Yeah, about that. You know how I can’t stand wasting money? Maybe I should be more careful where I choose to shave off a few dollars. You need to start praying for me. Pray real hard.”
“Oh, Honey. Is it that bad?”
“Mine is the only car in the dimly lit parking lot. In a hotel/motel of 60+ rooms. The Mexican restaurant in the building is closed down. The whole compound is surrounded by a cheap, temporary chain-link fence. I’m not sure why they cordoned it off.
“The emaciated hotel manager/owner fits my stereotype of an axe murderer from India or Pakistan. He was griping to me that no damn Americans wanted to work anymore. At least that’s what I thought he said. He had a heavy accent, and I was distracted by the way he licked his lips as he stared at me, looking me up and down & focusing on my meaty parts.
“When I checked into my room, I found two hidden cameras. One in the smoke alarm, and another behind the bathroom light. Talk about shoddy foreign craftsmanship. An American would have hidden them much better.
“By the way, this call is encrypted from end to end. And no way I’m using the hotel WiFi. I’m hotspotting on my government approved Android phone. Okay, I know the phone was made in China, but the Chinese government would never install spyware, right?”
“Kelly, you need to leave right now! Forget about the money, just get to someplace safe!”
“I can’t. I prepaid to save $5, and it’s nonrefundable.”
“How much would you lose?”
“$44 plus change.”
“What? Get out of there! Now!”
“I’m sorry, babe. You’re breaking up. Listen, if you can still hear me, I will call you at 9 am tomorrow. If you don’t get a call from me by then, call the police.”
“Kelly, can you hear me? What’s the hotel’s name?”
“Well, I thought it was the Red Coach Inn. But now that I’m looking at the sign, I think it says Red Flag Inn.
“Huh. Whatta ya know? I does say Red Flag Inn. Strange name.
“Okay, Beauty, I’ll call you at 9 in the morning. Love you. Night.”
Click.
My wife loves me very much.
Why wouldn’t she?
I get undressed to take a shower. I turn on the ceiling vent in the bathroom. It rumbles to life, shrieking like a 747 jet engine that’s 3 foot away.
What?
Why would I use a bathroom vent fan if I’m by myself in a hotel room, you ask?
You remember I had that colonoscopy earlier today? Unfortunately, the laxative the doctor gave me doubles as an army-grade explosive of unfathomable power. I clearly saw a skull and crossbones plus a mushroom cloud on the label.
Couple that with my superhumanly strong abdominal and butt muscles, and there’s a level 3 toxicity event just waiting to happen.
*********
I take my shower.
I lay down to sleep.
Hopefully, I’ll wake up tomorrow and tell you why I’m in Newton, Kansas on the Friday before Halloween…
**********
Saturday morning arrives. I stayed in Newton because of a promise I made.
There is a young man I have been mentoring for the last 4 years. His name is Kemon. He lived at my house this summer. He has a rough life at home, and never knows where he will sleep next.
I promised Kemon I would drive up to see him play a college football game if he started. He is on scholarship to Tabor College in Hillsboro, Kansas. The only condition I made: he would have to be making a B average and passing all his classes.
He is starting at left guard for Tabor as a Junior. He is keeping up with his schoolwork and is on track to graduate in 4 years.
So a couple of Fridays ago, I jumped in my car and drove 6 hours to my motel in Newton. There were no rooms available in the small town of Hillsboro. I got up Saturday morning and drove an hour north to Hillsboro.
Kemon played a very good game. I watched him every play. If I were his coach, I would grade his performance a B+.
Afterward, I took him out to dinner and then shopping. He introduced me to his roommates. Before I left, we prayed together.
I jumped in my car and drove 7 hours back to Fort Worth.
I wouldn’t do it for just anyone. But Kemon is worth it. I had men who made a difference in my life growing up, men who spent time and money to mentor me. I am forever grateful. To this day, I work hard to keep their legacy going.
Kemon, I am proud of you. Keep going, son.
You matter to me…
