Marriage Ruins Everything…
My first real kiss with my future wife occurred 40 years ago this coming month (November 1982).
I’ve written about it before. How I had kissed dozens of girls, but this was different. Most girls were passive when I kissed them. Yeah, they were passionate, but they were waiting on me, letting me make my case for their affection.
I didn’t mind. I just figured that’s how things worked. Men were supposed to go after what they wanted. Women would decide if they liked it or not.
Whoooo boy.
I kissed her first. A man needs to know how to make a strong, masculine move without being clumsy or hesitant. Make the woman feel good about herself, let her know she is with someone who is competent and confident. Let her know you want her, that she is attractive.
Well, my future wife’s hot, so I kissed her deeply, letting her know how sexy I found her.
It was the kiss back that got me. Her whole soul leaped from her lips across my entire body. I felt something strange; a connection I had never felt before. It wasn’t just sexual attraction (although that was really strong). It was more of an epiphany: finally, a woman I could open up to and share EVERYTHING with. My strengths. My flaws. My dreams. My dislikes.
Lightning had struck.
We dated for 4 years. She told me her dreams and plans. She shared everything with me, hiding nothing. Past boyfriends, hurts, accomplishments, disappointments.
Then we got married.
Hmmm….
I wonder what it would be like to marry someone from (1) a different culture, (2) a different part of the world, (3) a different class, and (4) a different language?
Okay, so it required a little adjustment from both of us.
I thank God we loved each other and took our wedding vows seriously. When things got rough, we prayed.
Together.
We prayed together.
Is that weird? A man who is not ashamed to talk about how much he loves his wife? A man who prays with his wife?
This weekend, we held hands and walked. We visited a new restaurant. We drove around to see how neighborhoods had decorated for Halloween. We went to church. We worked out at the gym.
We watched TV shows leaning against each other on the couch. I made a move. I kissed her deeply.
Her soul leapt from her lips across my whole body.
Marriage ruins everything…
