A sleepless night on a redeye for a work trip I dreaded was exactly what in hindsight (or not even hindsight) turned out what was needed. The way in life that what happens is what’s needed, what’s absolutely necessary, but for some reason it’s so very hard to see before or during or in and not above the fray. It looks so very the opposite when seen from within or eye to eye. Opaque, troubling, meant to confuse and cause pain. Separation from ones we love, lies, rationalization and compartmentalizations, stupidity. We can only see it’s right, what life unfolds before us, when we pull back our perspective, glean the truth of our life and experiences in time, and survey the web of our situations from afar and see things holistically. For what we glean is that when the eyes and the heart see without fear and meanness, without ever seeing our fellow beings as enemies, we see that our follies and despairs are nothing more than inconsistencies, confusions and missteps caused by the inalterable, changing, ever dynamic and fluid circumstances that life…emotional, biological, economic and evolutionary, throw at us every moment of our consciousness. The quantum fluctuations, both probable and improbable, that are manifested as the ever shifting, rippling surface of our being and our environment and the supposed finality of interpretation and meaning that an in-time and often fallible and short-sighted perceptive act bestow, means that we are constantly trying to put together a perfect or near perfect puzzle, a puzzle most importantly that makes sense and is understandable from our vantage point in time, and have the irrational expectations that we can do this, when the pieces are constantly changing shape. And so what we see as the ever present pain and suffering inflicted by a life that is ever slave to its circumstances, history and unstable (or stably unstable) materiality, really needs to be beheld as the beauty of pure fluid change, transformation and renewal, which are the other side of pain, suffering and death on the coins of life’s moments.

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