My mental FoMo
This post was published in A Conversation, a weekly ongoing exploration of topics between Dennis Cessan and CJ Malmsten.
To CJ Malmsten.
I’m definitely anxious and stressed. But not so much about the state of the world. We’re always been doomed, even before the tragedy of Donald Trump and Mike Pence.
I believe my fear comes from a mental FoMo (Fear of Missing out). There is so much to read, write, develop, watch and listen to — and I try to do it all.
I actually try to do so much that my brain can’t cope.
This has grown into an issue in our family. My wife used to find it fun and exciting when I started making my own notebooks one night or decided to write and publish a novel. But now, this urge I have is becoming a distraction from my wife and kids.
That’s why I have the question ”What did you do for your family today?” in my automated journal.
A lot of the times I’ll be doing one thing, thinking of another and waiting for a third. I have a huge issue with being present. Me and my wife suspect I might have ADD/ADHD and are looking at investigating it.
This is why I need processes, todo lists and my journal. My brain simply can’t cope with all of the information I constantly feed it. So I process and sort the information before it reaches my brain and then I just go to the corresponding place (app) to fetch it when I need it.
If I didn’t I wouldn’t get anything done. Because when I read or see about something interesting, I immediately want to try it out for myself.
I’m a doer. You know that from the years of our friendship.
Most people hear someone say “I’m a doer” and they go “Good for you”. But in my case, together with my probable diagnose, it can actually be a real hassle.
Right now, when writing this, I’m actually torn between writing this, reading Ego Is the Enemy (I want to read 100 books this year), creating my new todo app tailored to my specific needs, watching Westworld (haven’t seen a single episode!), answering emails and I don’t even dare to open Overcast.
I’m constantly working on new processes and finding new ways of coping but the amount of new information (thanks Internet) is constantly outnumbering my processes, todo lists and journals by far.
Guess I just have to realise you can’t do it all.
But that’s a sad conclusion in my opinion — don’t you think?
