Big
A Collaborative Effort With Indira Reddy
you, you knew how to
make me feel small, how to
make me crawl into myself,
disappear, become nothing.
you trained your heart to hate
and with every beat,
you beat into me the loss
of love…
your ego, bigger than the Grand Canyon,
I got lost there once…
I sit and watch as you stroke
your chest, calling up a
healing that won’t come
to your selfish spirit.
you are dying inside, cold
and cumbersome with tar
for spit.
cemented dreams
crack at the base of your brain.
you forget what you used to have,
but you remember how
you lost it.
seeking treasure, this…
this is what lures you, what
gets your goose.
now cooked, a featherless
faux pas, an unending chain
of sad events,
you stand before me,
Big by your shadow,
but puny too.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤout of the corner of my eye,
I watch you flicker
a kaleidoscope of emotions,
giving away yourself,
your innermost thoughts,
to me — always close enough to
catch every muscular twitch
your jerky millisecond glance at my arms,
paints memories of my fist
breaking walls, tables,
your love wanting to stop my pain,
my rage thrumming the walls
in its incandescent power,
holding you lifeless, obedient
your momentary sneer flashing disgust,
when you think I’m not looking,
tells me you too are building a wall,
that you are close to understanding
the lessons of power and pain,
my thrice-damned step-father
had once painstakingly whacked into me
pride warms me from inside,
soon our paths will merge fully,
although I may not be here,
the pain weeping from your eyes
reassures me,
I’ve chosen well, taught well,
this baton I pass to you
ㅤㅤㅤㅤremember,
this world begets nothing else…
ㅤㅤㅤㅤremember,
this world needs nothing else
from you.
Copyright©Tremaine L. Loadholt and Indira Reddy, 2019. All Rights Reserved.
*I have been reading Indira’s work for as long as I can recall — maybe close to three years now and with every challenge, every published piece, and everything that comes through my feed from her, there’s a strength there that makes me happy to be a Writer. The opportunity to collaborate with her has no doubt helped me grow just a bit more and I am sincerely honored.
A few of Indira’s pieces here on Medium:
Thank you for reading.
