Coping
Published in
Dec 21, 2020
It frightens me how easily I can find pain.
How easily I can suck it up through my nostrils, hold it, feel it, then slowly let it dissolve deep into my bones where I forget it exists.
That makes me strong. Strong for you. And you.
Any acknowledgment is a betrayal.
I’m built to withstand 3 am phone calls with friends crying on the other line.
They depend on this strength.
I depend on their needs.
How is it possible that nothing is ever wrong with me?
No relationship too precious.
No rejection too personal.
No vision too absurd.
I don’t even know how to feel anymore. Except guilt, beside frustration, next to fear.
When I was ten you told me it would never be enough.
Now here we are.
