forever

a tribute to a lost son

Photo by Deb Ewing

I die a little
today
as you know — ‘cos you can see
I don’t think it’s on your mind
like it is mine

you came to me
in a dream
told me you were nine
I don’t know if that was true
and you rode your bike away
a bike I didn’t give you
I wouldn’t have –
your legs were so small
I never liked banana seats –
I didn’t give you a bike
or safety
even a sense of it
but that,
I tried

I remember the knives
and the matches
and the egg in the oven
how you wanted your lifetime
all of it
at the tender age of three
you wanted to scare me
and I let you –
I didn’t know how to stop –
and at four you crossed the street

I will die again — it’s all I can do
with my love for you