I Mother No One

For Mothers Lost, Mothers Yet Still Mothering, and Mothers Who Mother Others

The Evil Mothers|Giovanni Segantini — 1894

It is Mother’s Day and I am outside walking the dog, listening to the sounds of the closest highway, hearing them, there is nothing that I can say that I have not already said about this day. But, I will say what I can. Mothers, you have a gift. You were given the knowledge to raise and keep up with little versions of you. How tiresome that must be on a daily basis. How incredible the strength must be to last for days on end. Knowing that you would be someone that someone else would look up to is a pressure and a weight that I cannot even bear.

Mothers, I appreciate you.

As I walk the hills of my apartment complex, I envision the days that my mother and I had our outs. But, we survived and are surviving. I am grateful for the chance to say that we moved through a tumultuous time and we are rising to the top. It is 2019, and I have entered my 39th year, and I still mother no one in the actual defining terms of a mother — one who gives birth to someone. But, I did mother. I do Mother. I am mothering younger versions of me, my cousins, and others and I get to see what this life could have been, but only part-time. And that is best for me. The older I get, the more I know this to be true.

Part-time mothering of others is significantly different from Full-time mothering of your own.

Fake Balloons|Photo Credit: Tremaine L. Loadholt

On this day, I wish you peace, love, light, a home-cooked meal that does not come from your hands and toil in the kitchen, and the overwhelmingly powerful gift of appreciation. You deserve it. If you are mothering the way you should — you deserve it. If your children can say positively that you are their mother and they say it proudly — you deserve it. If you have given your all, including everything left after it — you deserve it. If you messed up, lost track, received help, and are on your way to the betterment of both you and your children — you deserve it.

I wish I could make each and every one of you smile, offer a hug, a kind word on more than just one day of this year, but here are a few…

For those of you yet still mothering, those who mother others, those who are growing from the pain of not being mothered, and all others who fall in the category of mothering and the mothered…

We are sending you a heartfelt Happy Mother’s Day.

2018:

I Mother No One

2017:

I Mother No One

2016:

I Mother No One

Sincerely,

A Cornered Gurl