My Lover
Young Minds of Medium Music Call
He’s the most skillful of lovers. When I’m lonely, he soothes me, fingers roving all over my body as he penetrates me, transforms me. And when I’m happy, he becomes a new sort of high, an outlet for the floods of joy pouring from me. My lover is a seducer, a tempter. He’s a dream weaver whose touch transports me even as it strips me naked, leaving me exposed to his ministrations. He makes me so fragile then — he shatters me before slowly painstakingly fitting every piece back together.
Every moment feels like the first time. I’m always his virgin. And just when I think I’ve mastered his every move, he strokes some secret chord and captures me anew.
He’s ageless, a shapeshifter. Sometimes he’s a dark, sultry, mysterious lover who only stays with me in the night and melts away in the morning. Sometimes he’s a thunderous raging storm, threatening to devour me, spill open my insides. And then he’s a child; playful, bright, a whimsical piece of dreaming.
My lover is loyal. He’s been with me from days before I can remember. Through lazy afternoons and hectic days; through lonely nights and dreamy days. He’s in all my memories, and sometimes, he is a memory. He always knows what words will tame me, and sometimes he doesn’t even have to speak. He calls up every weapon in his arsenal; with strings and keys and bows — he’s bound me. Or he might whisper in my ears in some foreign language; Spanish, Chinese or some other exotic tongue.
And he can be so possessive. When he holds me, everything else seems to melt away. He forces his way into my head and he fucks with my brain. He sometimes sneaks up on me and I find myself calling his name before he suddenly appears, or perhaps he was there all along? But my heart knows him — always remembers him. It gets so full of him that there are moments where I lose myself and find my lips overflowing with words and sounds I did not put there. He possesses me and I . . . become him.
My lover is generous, but alas he is unfaithful. But how can I begrudge anyone his touch? I don’t own him and they never will. It is enough to know he will be with me as long as I let him and give as much as I can receive. I will be faithful to him because he loves me as I need love and reshapes himself to my desires. And so, I bend myself too and take on . . . the Shape of Music.
*It was impossible for me to pick a song so I didn’t even try 😅. Music and I have a very intimate relationship. My friends would tell you I’m always humming a tune under my breath. I listen to music when I’m happy, when I’m depressed, when I’m nervous, to fall asleep. I listen to music with my heart and my body. From Jazz to Afrobeat to Bollywood, I don’t have boundaries.
Here are a few songs I’m currently obsessed with:
- Monogram — Lucid Dream
- Joyce Babatunde —Baby Did It
- Billie Eilish, Khalid — Lovely
- Buki — Brave
Thanks, all you unmentionable artists for being the David to my Saul.
