What Love Looks Like
On Bad Days
You sense rejection. You know it is coming. It is at every turn, on every corner, and in every blink of your tired eyes. But, you pursue it with your meaningless efforts because trying is what you do even if failure is at the end of the tunnel. You work harder. You press on. You build yourself another wall and place it in front of those who love you most because they should not have to see you sink into your own private Hell. You take breaks. You switch jobs. You run after happiness at 100 miles per hour, scuff your shoes, break your toe, jam your finger, and cry for no reason at all when a sad commercial pops up on t.v.
There is no cure for a broken heart
No prescription to take
No fine arts course that will make you a superb artist
No long walks that end in cheery smiles
You cannot pull a new heart from your local grocer’s dry goods’ shelf
Affix it to your soul
And call yourself new
You are still the same old person, with the same broken heart, trying to recover from years of pain and instead of honoring your hurt, you deny it. You call it something else. You run away from words. You take long baths. You relocate, rework, refine, redo everything you know dear to you and still end up facing the one person you detest most in that moment —
YOURSELF.
You call up love on bad days and love tells you it does not have time for your games. And with that, you take your senseless denial, ball it up in your wrinkled hands, and blow its creepy appearance into the night air. The wind answers back, tucks your denial in its whistling teeth, and shoots you a message only your dog can hear.
Are you wiser?
Have you learned?
You have made all of these changes yet love is still not ready for you and you are not ready for it.
