CULTURE
The Answer to “Where Are You From?” Depends on Where I Am
How to deal with prying questions and shifting identities
“Where are you from?”
Have you ever been asked this? I have — many, many times.
I grew up in India, which is filled with naturally inquisitive people.
I was once asked by a guy I had known for less than three minutes, why I didn’t have children and if we were undergoing ‘treatment’.
Questions considered personal in the Western world are often conversation starters in India.
Some of the most cherished memories of my childhood involve two-day long summer train journeys to visit my grandmother.
When you spend thirty-six hours with a dozen other families in an enclosed space, you start sharing food and stories, finding common ground. And often, this would start with getting to know where everyone was from. Telling strangers where we hailed from wasn’t odd to me. Asking where you were from was just a data point in building an understanding of who you were.
But I recognize that in today’s world, and especially here in the US, where almost everybody is an immigrant, this can be a loaded question.