Two Mothers Contemplate Childlessness

In a first-of-its-kind interview women who engaged in fertility treatments explore society’s unhealthy baby bump obsession

Cristy and Mo, hosts of the ‘Bitter Infertiles’ podcast confront the fear of not succeeding with pregnancy and acknowledge the hazards of ‘infertility drifting’ with the author of the book and blog, Silent Sorority, and the blogger behind The Road Not Traveled. This no-holds barred conversation tackles a taboo topic: coming to terms with life as a family of two after once pursuing pregnancy.

In the nearly hour-long podcast (edited for length) Cristy admitted:

“Though I was initially terrified of exploring your stories, I’m so glad I did. You have taught me so much about life and helped me see that though I can’t control what happens to me, I can control how I chose to confront each disappointment and moment of pain. You’ve taught me that from the ashes we can rise like Phoenixes and pursue a life that is full, filled with purpose, happiness and joy.”

Mo: I am really happy that you are with us today … it’s very unhealthy for me to realize that I don’t see ‘just stopping’ as an option, and I think this goes for a lot of women. We are willing to abuse our psyches and our bodies until we get what we think we want.

Cristy: Yes, it’s because we have this idea in our head. The truth is nobody starts this journey assuming they are going to go down the path of living child-free. The biggest myth about child-free is that one has decided that ‘they just didn’t really want children anyway, and they gave up,’ which is so not true.

Mo: Yeah, it’s something that is very much not talked about in this community, not acknowledged. I’ll admit being an avid blog reader since I found this [online] community, and I will be the first to admit, Pamela and Lori: I did not read your blogs.

“For me, it was like this kind of self-defense mechanism … I don’t want to even think about that. And you know what? I don’t think that’s healthy. I don’t think that’s right.”

I think there are a lot of women who stop and say, ‘OK, I’m going to adopt.’ And there are a lot of women who just get stuck in this endless cycle…