Jumping Ship to New Traditions
A Proposal
I was 3 years old when my mother first let me help her make her signature red sauce for Sunday dinner. My job was to count how many garlic cloves we needed and stir the sauce as it was cooking, being careful, of course, not to let her catch me when I dipped a piece of Italian bread in the ten-gallon pot to taste the deliciousness. As I grew up, and as Sunday dinners were a regular occurrence, I was given more insight on how to prepare this dish from start to finish. However, when I asked my mom where the recipe was for the sauce I was given a chuckled response: “Nothing is going to hurt this sauce, we use what we have and add what we like until it tastes good. A little extra garlic never hurt anybody. Keep chopping.”
It didn’t take me long to learn which wine to drink with the type of meal we were eating or the right way to call it sauce or gravy depending on whether it is made with meat or veggies, which is still a debate in my house. When you grow up with no less than ten Italian family members constantly circulating through your house, and copious amounts of various traditional meals always served, it is quite easy to understand basic pairings and traditions of the Italian- American culture.
In Italian culture, food is the focal point of many gatherings and celebrations. Enter any Italian household during Christmas, a birthday, or even a weekend family get-together and you will find everyone hustling around the kitchen, making loads of pasta, meat, fish, and endless desserts. Food is symbolic; it gathers the whole family to enjoy time together and pass on traditions to younger generations. At many times in my life, I have asked my mom and many of my relatives why we do things the way that we do and where these “deep-rooted” traditions came from. I was always given an answer that went around the question because nobody truly knew the reasons; they just knew that it was what we were supposed to do. This project has provided me the opportunity to ask more in-depth questions and dig deeper into my family’s history to find out where we came from and how these traditions, that I hold so near and dear to my heart, began. Tracing my ancestry back to when my family came to America was not difficult, seeing as my closest connection to Italian immigrants is my great-grandfather, Carlo.
Italy, 1910
On the 10th of January 1910, in a small fishing village in the core of Molfetta, Italy, Maria and Ignatius Rafanelli gave birth to a beautiful 7-pound 8-ounce baby boy, Carlo Rafanelli. However, his father died when he and his sister and two brothers were very young. Carlo was born on the brink of World War 1, and his mother struggled to make enough money to provide for him and his sister Metta. Due to this, Carlo was only able to attend school until the second grade.
At about the age of 6, he was apprenticed by the fisherman on a boat which had a contract to fish for several months of the year in waters off the coast of Greece. The fishermen taught Carlo to read and write in Italian, so he could write home and send his wages to his mother and sister. He quickly learned how to fish, not only for his work but also for pleasure and providing meals for himself. Carlo would later go on to use these fishing skills in his adult life while providing Christmas dinner for his family in what is known as the Italian Feast of the Seven Fishes.
Feast of the Seven Fishes
It was not until the early 1900’s that the official “Feast of the Seven Fishes” came about. It was created by Italian-Americans who wanted something to remind them of their home country’s Christmas Eve traditions that made them feel closer to home. One of these traditions included eating fish on holidays to abstain from meat and dairy products. The number seven is a very symbolic number in the Roman Catholic faith, as it represents the seven sacraments, the number of days of Creation, and the Seven Deadly Sins. Therefore, the “Feast of the Seven Fishes” was born. This feast is as arduous as its name gives it to be; seven different meals with seven different fishes must be prepared. Get ready for a day of non-stop eating. As daunting as the task of preparing this may seem, I find it enchanting. Not only is my entire family in the same place celebrating life, love, and Christmas, but also, we all must work together and contribute to pulling this feast off. This tradition is especially dear to me because it emphasizes how in the Italian culture and my family specifically, food brings people together.
1924
After several years as a fisherman, at the age of 14, Carlo signed on to a cargo boat, General Petitti, as a merchant marine and made trips to London, Russia, and other places, including the United States.
New Jersey, 1926
In 1926, as the merchant ships docked in Hoboken, New Jersey, Carlo decided his efforts would be best spent finding a job in America, so he jumped ship and joined his brother, who was living in Hoboken. Carlo lived with his brother, Sylvetia, and five other countrymen in one apartment and sought work, not advertising the fact that he was only 16 years old. By doing this, he was able to save enough money to provide for himself and was able to send some of his money back home to his mother and sister.
Four years later, Carlo, 20, met his wife, Rose Sciavolino, 22, at his cousin’s apartment that was in a house owned by Rose’s father. Rose was born in America to two Italian immigrants. Carlo and Rose fell in love and got married in their little town of Hoboken in 1936.
A little over one year later, Rose gave birth to their first child, Marta. Carlo and Rose went on to have three children; Marta, Ignatius, and Dominick- my grandfather (Nonno in Italian). Hoboken was a small town and still is today. They did not know at that time that this place where their family was just beginning to bud was where their children, grandchildren, and generations after would put down roots and thrive in the family name. The Rafanelli name would quickly become known in this little town.
Soon after they were married, Carlo applied for United States citizenship. Being an honest man, Carlo could not continue to live in America under cover. He went to the immigration authorities and told them the whole true story of how he got to America, including the name of the ship he jumped off; his application went right through. Not only was Carlo a model of conducting himself honestly, but he was also the model of a hard worker and instilled in his children the promise that hard work leads to a prosperous life.
He obtained employment with Franklin Bakers, later known as General Foods, and worked for them for 43 years. This was not enough for Carlo, as he worked all sorts of odd-end jobs on the weekends, such as longshoreman work and employment in a hat factory. Carlo and Rose were able to raise their three children to be independently successful and taught them the importance of hard work and appreciation of what they had. As a deeply-rooted Italian tradition, Carlo taught his sons, that it is the responsibility of the husband to make a living while the wife took care of the house and the children. Accordingly, Rose never worked and was in charge of making delicious Italian food for her husband and kids. Nonno has shared a myriad of stories which entail him, his brother, and his father out on the lagoon all day fishing and setting crab traps to bring home to his mother to cook for dinner.
Carlo Rafanelli’s story is important to my family history and to others in the world reading this. I never got to meet this remarkable man- who seems to be in the middle of every story told by any of my older family members- however, I believe the impact he had on the world is something worth sharing. He had such a staggering presence in this world that the traditions he brought with him from his little hometown of Molfetta, Italy have spread through three generations of my family and will continue to define the generations beyond me. Throughout this project, my goal is to trace Italian food-ways and culture from Italy to America and connect my great-grandfather’s experience in Italy to my experience as an Italian-American. I will be interviewing my Nonno, who has been telling me and my cousins these stories our whole lives. I want to sit down with him and allow him to take me through them again so that I may intently listen and learn about our family and our deep-rooted culture.
Interview Questions
1) What’s your favorite childhood memory?
2) How often were you on the water?
3) Do you take your kids out on the boat as much as grandpa took you out?
4) Did Grandpa Rafanelli ever show you what he did for work or teach you how to do it?
5) What was one tradition that carried through every Christmas?
6) Did you keep that tradition alive with your kids?
7) Were you religious?
8) Were your parents religious?
9) Who was the head of the household and did your mom and dad play the traditional roles of man and woman?
10) What was your favorite meal that Grandma Rose used to make?
11) Could you ever speak Italian? Did you want to? Why or why not?
12) If you did know some Italian, why did you not want to pass it on to your children and grandchildren?
13) Why have you never left New Jersey?
14) What is your favorite meal to make?
15) Whose sauce is better, yours, Uncle Carl’s, or mom’s?
16) What do you consider your greatest achievement?
17) What is the quality you admire most in a person?
18) What is your greatest fear?
19) If you had one piece of advice or motto that you wanted the world to remember you by, what would it be?
20) Is there anything else you want to share with me that you think would help this project?
Working Bibliography
Esposito, Nicholas J. Italian Family Structure. Peter Lang, 1989.
“Foodways, Food Traditions, Gardens.” Foodways, Food Traditions, Gardens, www.italianlosangeles.org/index.php?27&167.
“The Origin of the Feast of the Seven Fishes.” Eataly — Italian Food, Recipes and Gift Boxes | Eataly, 29 Dec. 2016, www.eataly.com/us_en/magazine/culture/origin-feast-seven-fishes/.
“Italy Commanding Heights.” PBS, Public Broadcasting Service, www.pbs.org/wgbh/commandingheights/lo/countries/it/it_overview.html.
Vallone, Elizabeth. “A Cherished Memory — Easter in the Land of My Ancestors, Molfetta (Bari), Italy.” L’Idea Magazine, 1 Apr. 2015, lideamagazine.com/a_cherished_memory/.
