Understanding and respecting gender and pronouns
The Diversity, Equity, & Inclusion team at Gravity Works—a volunteer-led, cross-functional team of employees leading DEI initiatives at the company—recently wrote some internal documentation with guidance on respecting gender and pronouns in websites and communication. We wanted to share this information publicly as well to underscore the importance it has on our work and how we interact with our communities.
Introduction
Pronouns can be an important part of how people express themselves. When not using someone’s proper name, you might substitute their pronouns instead — some examples of pronouns include she/her, they/them, and he/him. Correctly using someone’s pronouns shows respect for their identity, providing a more welcoming, inclusive environment.
Self-identification, “preferred” pronouns, and differing contexts
When someone makes an introduction (whether in person, on a call, or in writing), they may list their pronouns. This allows them to self-identify, making their pronouns clear while also preventing the potential for misidentification. Gender expression — through aspects like a person’s clothing, style, or behavior — is not always a signifier for someone’s identity, and assuming so can lead to misidentification. Self-identification allows them to make their identity clear from the beginning and should be respected when provided.
As pronoun sharing has become more encouraged, the phrase “preferred pronouns” has been used to request or refer to someone’s pronouns. This implies that their pronouns are a choice or preference, rather than a real aspect of their identity, so it’s best to simply use “pronouns” instead.
Gender is a spectrum, and gender and pronoun identities may both shift over time, so someone’s original answer may not be their answer forever. When in doubt, politely ask them how they’d like to be identified.
Some people may use different pronouns in different contexts — for example, people who choose to identify differently within the context of their professional career. Understand that someone’s shared pronouns are what should be used in that context, but may not always be the pronouns they use in other situations.
Digital considerations
First, ensure that any data you’re collecting — whether as part of a form, within a user profile, or for any other reason on your site or app — is necessary information to collect. If not, consider not collecting it. This helps users only share the information you need, and with fewer fields to fill out, it means they’re more likely to provide the necessary information. More importantly, it makes clear to people how you’ll use their information, rather than having to make a hopeful assumption that you’re collecting it in good faith. (If it makes sense to how you’re collecting it, also share who will be able to view that data — for example, whether only administration will see it, or if it will become publicly visible when filled out.)
At Gravity Works, the majority of our sites use Drupal for content management. If adding a gender field to a Drupal site, consider using the Gender field module, rather than a field that enforces a binary understanding of gender. This module, maintained by members of the Drupal Diversity & Inclusion group, provides a thoughtful field type based on the Open Demographics project, allowing users to identify themselves somewhere along the gender spectrum. By not forcing users or form respondents into boxes, we allow them to express who they really are — and from a data collection perspective, it also gives us more accurate data.
The popular Webform module for Drupal includes the same gender options that are used by the Gender module, and has examples that separate gender and sex into different fields. (Consider not collecting information on someone’s sex at all — the sex that was assigned to them at birth is none of your business.)
Alternatively, consider offering an open-text field or open taxonomy for pronoun or gender information. This allows people to choose how they identify with no restriction. Again, consider adding help text to the field to explain why and how you’re using or displaying that data. (That said, also consider that othering someone’s gender can feel quite alienating.)
Consider including an option like “Prefer not to say” on gender and pronoun fields, if not open-text, to allow people to opt out from sharing if permitted.
If possible, particularly in user profiles, allow people to change their name, gender, and pronouns later, so that if their gender or pronouns shift later or if their name changes, they can update their profile on their own so it is a true reflection of who they are.
Showing support
Regardless of how you identify, there are ways you can show support and help normalize the use of pronouns and how gender is expressed and conveyed:
- First and foremost, respect others’ pronouns. Don’t intentionally misgender someone, and if you do, apologize briefly and move on (rather than centering your mistake).
- Put your pronouns in your Slack profile, email signature, and other digital profiles. This normalizes the respect of people’s pronouns and shifts the focus away from trans and non-binary people by avoiding them being the only ones talking about pronouns.
- If organizing an event or conference, label your pronoun collection (stickers, badges, etc.) as “Please call me:” instead of “My pronouns are:” to respect that people may use different pronouns in different contexts. (see this Twitter thread from Ana Mardoll)
- Celebrate International Pronouns Day on the third Wednesday of October each year, helping to normalize the use of pronouns and champion inclusivity.
Examples
For one recent site that incorporates member profiles, user entities include a Pronouns field with the following help text:
Pronouns are second-person identifiers that you want people to use when referring to you. Pronouns are entirely optional. For more information on pronouns, visit the GLSEN Pronoun Guide.
Common pronouns: they/them/theirs, he/him/his, she/her/hers
Additional reading
- Ada Powers on Twitter: “…what does it mean when someone describes themselves with a pronoun mix, like she/they?”
- More on pronouns, including in other languages, from the Nonbinary Wiki
