3 Things my Boyfriends Drives me INSANE with (Valentines Edition)
If you’ve ever been in any sort of relationship with any one at any time in your life. You’ll know that there are things about you that make you an absolute delight to be around and separate you from all the other people (ew people) and then there are those other habits that bring you within an inch of being brutally murdered.
I would like to mention that everything I’m saying here are charming quirks that drive me insane and make me laugh at the same time. I’m sure Dominic could make an endless list about what’s annoying about his impulsive loud girlfriend, but he doesn’t have a Medium membership so tough shit you little bitch.
1. The Questions
Have you ever spent time with a 5 year old? If yes, then you’ll know exactly what I mean.
So it’s Saturday night, we’re staying in and we’re watching a movie. And bear in mind: we’re watching this movie both for the very fist time. You know how in movies you’re confronted with situations that make sense to everyone in the movie, but not to you? But in the end it just all comes together and you have that “aaaah she’s related to that guy and he’s done the thing and omg it all makes sense”- moment. All you need to do is just…wait and watch the movie.
Apparently Dominic isn’t having it, because he spends the entire movie going:
“so…why did that just happen?” …”is he related to that woman?”…”what happened back then?”
Honestly man, how the f*** am I supposed to know that? We’re watching the SAME movie.
It always takes me a while to come to that point though, because my first reaction to this interrogation is one of pure stress.
My instinct tells me I somehow am supposed to know all of that and need to explain it to him. And then he gets me babbling some wild theories that I pull out of my own rear end.
Until I finally snap and tell him to just watch the damn movie, only to find him with a glazed over expression on his face.
At this point he’s just talking to himself and probably doesn’t even hear himself. While that happens we miss crucial parts in the movie and have to rewind it a million times.
2. The Lack of Gossip Detail
That’s been a meme about one million times before and let me tell you: it is painfully relatable.
He comes home from work and just randomly drops a piece of the juiciest *chefs kiss* gossip you could possibly imagine.
Sh** like “oh btw these friends of ours have split up, because of that…thing he did”. And then he goes to the bathroom and takes a dump for what feels like 2 weeks.
Then when he goes back and I get to demand details, like what did he do? Who told you? What’s she doing now? What are they doing with the dog? Is he still living with her? How long has this been going on for?
All the while he just stares at me, shrugging his shoulders and says “I don’t know my colleague told me today at lunch, I didn’t really ask any more questions”
Well for crying out loud dude, you wanna give me an aneurism? If that conversation had happened to me, I could write a 5000 page essay. I’d know what the guy ate that morning and the exact day of her menstruation cycle.
3. The Urge to Talk in Dumb Situations
Alright so one thing you should know about Dominic: He’s not what I’d consider a “talker”.
He isn’t the big teller of stories, the breaker of silences, the mover of crowds. Hell we’ve spent entire car rides that stretched for hours and hours in utter silence and to be clear: I love that about him. It’s very relaxing. But I need you to keep that in mind for what I’m gonna tell you right now:
We went to Madeira for a while in the winter. One thing you need to know about Madeira is it basically consists of cliffs and staircases. Said staircases usually leading up and down said cliffs.
One day we discovered that there was supposed to be a great, lonely beach at the bottom of a cliff nearby and decided we’d take our freediving gear and head down. And I mean your gear consists of wetsuits, long fins, snorkels, a 50m rope, a buy, carabiners and lead weights.
Great thing to carry up and down a cliff. But you gotta do what you gotta do, so we head down, go diving and then headed back up. It was horrible.
I was sweaty, tired and my backpack crushed me under its weight. And then, after what felt like 3 hours, I reached that one point I’m sure you all know:
It’s that point of PEAK EXHAUSTION, but you’re just not there yet. You’ve come just far enough to know how much is still in front of you and that you have to endure this nightmare for so much longer.
It’s exactly at that moment, at my most exhausted and most annoyed, when Dominic comes up to me and says:
“Have we…watched that one video together where they determine the quality of water with the help of fresh water clams?”
“W…what?”
“It was a Tom Scott video and they went to a place I don’t remember where that was maybe Germany?…”
“I don’t know maybe it was in Sweden…no it was definitely Germany I remember one of the people speaking in German I think.“
So anyway they catch those clams and then they put them in some of their water supplies and when the clams open..”
“the water has good quality but when they are closed, the quality is bad. Isn’t that fascinating?”
This is a very conflicting situation, because on one hand I would like to silence him with any means possible. But on the other hand, I really enjoy the moments when he tells me about something he’s so utterly fascinated by with such passion, because that sure doesn’t happen a lot.
This conflict tears at me with such violence, I am on the verge of tears. And he’s going all in, he even asks me questions.
“Do you know how the water quality is usually tested?”
NO! And if you really loved me, you’d just hit me over the head with that rock! End my suffering!
I am very aware that these examples aren’t really showcasing his flaws but rather my permanent state of emotional instability.
Funny thing is, that’s actually really it. Pretty boring, maybe I’ll start a fight later, let’s see.
Also if you like this story and would love to watch my YouTube video about it, here you go:
