Niu Year Vibes: How to make Chinese Niu Year extra 旺 Wang-derful
Chinese New Year is great–you feast continuously, show off your new clothes and meet with your family. What if I told you there are things we could do to make this festive season even better?
This Chinese New Year, A Good Space has collected advice from our changemaker members on how we can make this joyous occasion inclusive, considerate and most importantly, fun!
The first thing most of us do is attend our reunion dinner. While waiting for dinner to be served, our relatives might start conversations with this iconic line:
While asking such questions may be a way for family to express their concern/catch up with us, it can be a cause for friction, anxiety and angst. Hence, try avoiding these intimate questions as much as possible!
For our friends who may be asked these questions, you can:
- Plan the length of your visits
Decide who you want to spend more or less time with as shorter visits are more manageable. - Differentiate between toxic behaviours that you want to address and those you will ignore
This could make it easier for you to say “no” and pick your fights wisely. - Change the topic
If a relative ignores your request to avoid a certain topic, changing the topic sends a firm signal for them to stop. It is unlikely that they will harp on the topic afterward.
These conversations may take a turn and you may find yourself:
It is no secret that such topics are sensitive. Should we then completely avoid conversing about them?
Topics of controversy can be personal for some who have had to debate/talk about these issues regularly and may cause fatigue. When it comes to such conversations, respecting one another’s boundaries is important; some may be willing to discuss while others are less so.
The short answer: Exercise discretion and respect boundaries!
You might then wonder: How can one create a safe space where their peers can share their views confidently, while also ensuring that all differing views are respected?
Our changemaker member, Tan Ding Jie from The Humanist Society (Singapore) suggests using Street Epistemology — a conversational tool that seeks to make you reflect on the reasons behind your beliefs.
We invite you to read more about Street Epistemology at https://streetepistemology.com/street-epistemology-frequently-asked-questions-faq. It is not a tool to ‘convert’ or change minds; it is designed to help people think more critically and instil doubt (in moderation).
Dinner is finally served and you may find yourself:
The act of eating hotpot signifies the reunion of family and friends but this tradition oftentimes creates enormous food waste. Here are some tips from our changemaker, Anne Neo, to reduce your waste!
- Plan what you need to buy ahead of time
Oftentimes, we rather over-prepare than under-prepare to ensure that all our visitors are properly fed. Additionally, the idea of having excess “余” being more auspicious than having less perpetuates our extravagant shopping habits during CNY.
Let’s try to differentiate between needs & wants and buy food according to the needs of our visitors! Consult them on how much they eat and what they want to eat!
- If there is excess, keep for other dishes /meals.
Keep your leftovers for the next few days and have it for lunch. For example, repurpose your leftover steamboat ingredients to cook fried rice. You can also prepare food beforehand and freeze it. When visitors come, cook sufficient portions and keep the rest for next time!
Dinner is over but there is always room for dessert! It’s time to:
Let’s face it: Pineapple tarts aren’t the only treat we are gobbling down. These guilty pleasures are hard to resist but how can we try to negate the adverse health effects from consuming these snacks?
Our changemaker member, Dean Ng of The Affirmative people suggests: Instead of focusing on what you should not be eating, why not focus on what you can eat MORE of!
Stuff yourself with vegetables to negate the harmful effects (plus, if you eat so many greens, you won’t even have space in your stomach for the guilty snacks)! Remember to hydrate, hydrate AND hydrate with water!
Fun idea: Why not kick the day off with green smoothie shots with your family before heading off to 拜年 (visit others)?
When the feasting has ceased, it’s time to:
This chore may be allocated to our domestic helpers who also have many other tasks this festive season. It is important for us to make sure helpers are not overwhelmed this festive season!
What can employers do? Our changemaker member, Ang Huan Ting suggests that you:
- Ensure that our helpers still have a weekly rest day. Rest days for them to meet their own friends and talk to their family for emotional support is crucial!
- Make sure they have sufficient time to sleep. This could mean only opening your house for visitation during the day and not the wee hours of the morning!
- Check in with our helpers about their health. Ask them if they are able to cope with the workload!
After dinner is done, we may find some people:
Meeting with our families for the first time in a long while can be awkward. But before we judge each other, let’s remember that at a time of coming together with the people who matter the most in our lives, acts of empathy can help spread the message of love and gratitude during this festive period.
Ningpei Chua of Hush TeaBar, suggests that we can:
- Assist our elders with cleaning their homes after a small family gathering.
- Play music that brings nostalgic joy while listening to their life stories with an open heart
- Check in with them during difficult and isolating times
These acts of empathy and kindness are small but its impact is bigger than any angbao can give. Small acts, major love.
To celebrate this festive season, HushTea bar is organising a Hush Experience for 24 of our Chinese migrant brothers in Singapore. With the borders closed due to COVID-19 regulations, our Chinese migrant brothers are unable to return home for this special occasion.
Hush TeaBar seeks to provide a safe space for our migrant friends to reflect, reminisce and build new bridges through sharing stories to find a home, away from home.
If you want to contribute to this meaningful event, you can do so! Hush TeaBar is looking for sponsors to provide some goodies for a goodie bag!
Find them at http://www.hushteabar.com/
Chinese New Year is meant to be a period of family reunion and fun! Some of these norms may be enjoyable for some and irksome for others. In the spirit of the festive season, A Good Space hopes that you can use these tips to make your home a safe space to celebrate!
A Good Space is Singapore’s first co-operative for changemakers, by changemakers. Curious about our community? Reach out to us:
Website: http://www.agoodspace.org/
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Facebook: @AGoodSpaceSG
