Here’s Why You Can Adopt This Underrated Yet Liberating Perspective On Relationships

Embracing respect in a new light.

A beautiful tree by the lake, with sunlight peeking through it’s branches.
Photo by Liam Pozz on Unsplash

Had it not been for relationships of different kinds, we would end up being a very uninteresting bunch of people occupying this planet — or even interesting ones, but how would that make a difference if no one was there to catch our vibes?

And given that we very much have the privilege of creating and sustaining relationships, there’s much that we stand to be blinded by — partly because of our lack of awareness, and partly because we are naturally prone to take some things for granted.

The matter of the heart is always one that’s subjective; to each their own, as they say — but even then, there are some values that could be worth practising, for the simple sake of being better, and doing better for the ones we share relationships with.

We often associate our self-worth to the relationships we build and nurture — and it’s not wrong to do so, as long as it is guided by healthy intentions.

Sometimes though, we might stretch it a bit too much — to the extent of considering others need for us to be the only thing to be driven by.

To put it into context;

We consider it to be healthy to be needed?

We think that being irreplaceable and indispensable is the ultimate (and somewhat twisted) win?

We even think that to be able to be lived without, would be a failure we must avoid at all costs?

It is but only natural to be driven by these instincts that are hardwired within us — but it’s also worth pausing and questioning some of our most basic instincts, because not always do they make us better versions of ourselves.

Look at it this way;

We don’t need to be irreplaceable, indispensable, or a must-have at all costs, for the people we hold relationships with;

We need to add value to them in a way such that they are liberated enough to live a full and wholesome life, even without us;

And to be able to be lived without (us), is certainly not a failure — but a beautiful happening, of sorts.

This is not meant to be a morbid take on things — but a light-hearted approach to unburdening ourselves, and consequently, our loved ones too.

We get far too attached to the idea of being a “somebody” to people, and it’s truly not what we should strive for — instead, we must give them in ways that empower them to feel independent, in the purest sense.

We must respect other people’s ability to fight their own battles, and to celebrate their own victories, without us being a significant part of all that happening;

And even then, we might just be privileged enough to be a part of all those things — and it is on us to not take that for granted when it happens, and to allow things to flow as they do.

The point is, we need to learn to respect every individual for who they are, and what they experience, without trying to fit ourselves into that equation every time.

As long as we believe in them to make the best out of what life offers them, they will make that happen — with, or without us — and we must remain humble, either way.

Our relationships are meant to fuel us to become better and stronger versions of ourselves, not to limit ourselves by the dependence on it.

The truest form of respect we can practise for our relationships, is rooted in our humble acceptance of our purpose — which is to add value, unconditionally.

It is an underrated approach because we rarely stop to reflect, but it is truly liberating to work towards crafting healthy relationships — to do good, and to do right by those we share relationships with.



Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store