The 3 Powerful Lessons Learned After Seeing a Relationship Counselor

I needed to make a change and become a better husband

Photo by Everton Vila on Unsplash

Why seek counseling?

How to be a more active listener?

  • Be engaged — That means put down the phone, book, or turn off the TV and start paying attention.
  • Empathetic and non-judgmental — Let your partner finish what they want to say without interruption. This is respectful and shows your partner that what they are saying is being heard.
  • Be Patient — It may be a challenge for your partner to open up about what they want to talk about. Periods of silence don’t have to be filled with talking, just for the sake of it. This can be hard as silence can be uncomfortable and frustrating. With a temptation to jump in and pre-empt what they want to say or offer an opinion. Resist.
  • Verbal and nonverbal feedback — To show signs of listening, e.g., smiling, eye contact, leaning in, or mirroring.
  • Ask questions — If what they said is not clear, or you missed some detail.
  • Reflecting — On what they said and asking for clarification
  • Summarizing — Summary of what you heard can be powerful and shows that you were engaged and were an active listener.

Try not to be a problem solver

“It can increase disconnection because you’ve not allowed that person’s experience to be fully seen and heard.” — Liz Colizza

Counseling yourself




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Terry Bowyer

Nature lover and an eternal optimist at heart. I love to write about personal growth and mental health.