What You Need To Know About Being There For Your Loved Ones

Whose battle is it to fight?

2 roads lit up parallel to each other — at night.
Photo by Robin Pierre on Unsplash

When it comes to our loved ones, the ones we truly and deeply care for — we’re ready to move mountains for them, if only we (literally) could.

If we had to cross oceans, just to meet them where they are — we would, in a heartbeat.

When the going gets tough (for them), we wish we could take all that pain away from them — just to have them feel at peace.

But is all of that truly ours to do?

What we often do not pause to consider, is that everyone is meant to fight to their own battles — the people whose battles we’d readily take on our shoulders, are meant to fight for themselves.

We do not do any good to them, by getting in their way of figuring things out — we only delay it by that much longer.

Yes, it is natural to feel an instinct to fight for their peace and sanity, and to heal them — but that is exactly why we need to defy that instinct;

Because that instinct is born from a place of fear within us;

If we don’t let go of that fear, on what basis do we hope for them to?

The more we try to fight their battles for them, the more we keep them from becoming who they are meant to become;

The more we try to shield them from the pain that is capable of growing them, the more we keep them from outgrowing their older versions;

The more we try to heal them in our way, the more we keep them from healing in their own time and space.

This doesn’t mean that we don’t care about how they cope or deal with the harshness that life offers;

It simply means, that we allow them to learn their lessons from their own way of coping and dealing with it;

We allow them to fight their own battles;

We allow them to become stronger and better versions of themselves;

And through it all — we can allow ourselves to be viewers;

We can silently root for them to get through to the other side of where they are.

We can’t fix them — we can only be there for them while they choose to fix themselves.

We can be there for our loved ones, without fighting for them — our support can be their rock.

As much as we’d like to troubleshoot the dark times that our loved ones are put through — it is not our doing that counts;

It’s our support for them while they choose to do it for themselves.

We can be there for our loved ones, without fighting the battles that they are meant to conquer.

What matters is that we’re there for them before they heal, during their healing, and after they’ve healed into their newer versions — healing them is not our doing.

So, the next time you have to be there for your loved ones, know that it’s about why you need to be there — not about what you do by being there.

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