Charity is Good for the Soul
Realizing the benefits of paying it forward
Several years ago, I watched an interview with film star Kirk Douglas, and I was intrigued by one of his statements.
He was working through the challenges of aphasia after suffering a stroke at his home.
(Aphasia is a disorder that affects how you communicate. It may disrupt your speech and written work, understanding of conversations, and reading ability.)
He attributed much of his recovery to the positive feeling of helping other people. This unexpected benefit started with simple gestures of support and kindness and accelerated throughout the final years of his life.
Kirk Douglas took the concept to another level when he shared his experiences with honesty and openness and offered comfort to millions of Americans suffering from the symptoms of aphasia.
(Another actor, Bruce Willis, publicly announced his diagnosis of aphasia in March 2022.)
The benefits of aiding and assisting other human beings are not novel.
The Save the Children organization advises that charitable contributions improve self-esteem and self-worth, promote positive moods with less depression, and may lead to longer life expectancy with reduced stress.
(The Beatles agree with the sentiment of the charity organization.)
Paul McCartney’s lyrics state, “And, in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.”
In an interview with Chris Farley on Saturday Night Live, the famous Beatles member was asked if the line from the Abbey Road album “was true.”
Paul responded, “Yes, Chris. In my experience, it is. I find the more you give, the more you get.”
It’s a fun interview, and you will be satisfied if you watch it for a few minutes on YouTube.
Last week, I met a client who was a former special forces operator and veteran of the war in Afghanistan.
He said, “I don’t like to use the term charity as the word enables self-aggrandizement.”
The former operator explained that he couldn’t pass by a homeless veteran without buying him a sandwich, offering a water bottle, or giving him cash.
“No one who’s served their country should be left on the streets and ignored,” he said.
People often contribute to charities quietly and anonymously, as the personal gratification from altruism doesn’t require self-promotion or fanfare.
This preference doesn’t disqualify the importance of charitable organizations and the great work of exemplary groups of people. The camaraderie and enjoyment inherent to working as a team to support others in need are inspiring and enjoyable, and the positive energy derived from the accomplishment perpetuates itself.
(Does it matter if your position on a charity organization’s board of directors is part of your resume as long as someone less fortunate benefits from your efforts?)
Every December, my masonic lodge delivers a Christmas dinner, Santa Claus, presents, and entertainment to an orphanage in Tokyo. After last year’s event, we left the children’s group home and found ourselves standing outside laughing and bouncing enthusiastically.
We’d worked to raise money for the project all year and had realized the actual results of our efforts in the shining eyes, laughter, and happy voices of the children.
(The truth? Our fraternity members may have had the most fun.)
People often offer to support your charitable efforts when they hear you talk about the work with passion. One restauranteur in Tokyo overheard a few of us talking about the Santa party at the Tokyo orphanage and offered to host ten children for a meal at his restaurant.
One interesting paradox is the generosity I’ve found in people who are not well off. These people volunteer at food banks, churches, public gardens, and school crossings. Their cash donations comprise a much more significant percentage (twice as much) of their income than contributions from wealthy community members.
(An article in The Atlantic by Ken Stern estimates charitable donations by the top 20% of America’s wealthy at 1.3% of their income, while the bottom 20% of society gives 3.2% of their income to charitable causes.)
As I age, I’m less patient with some of my elderly colleagues, who tend to repeat stories, ask the same questions, and phone me at awkward times.
My wife reminds me that these gentlemen get little attention from their wives and relatives.
(An article in the National Post, August 29th, 2013, suggests that middle-aged couples can tune out each other’s voices selectively and pay more attention to different people. This trend accelerates as we age.)
Perhaps the most excellent form of support I can offer some of my “old associates” is to listen and nod while they repeat a story or ask me for details on a subject we’ve covered several times. Their day will improve after the conversation, and perhaps mine will.
More importantly, by paying forward, I might create the karma necessary to encourage the same kind of generosity from some other (younger) colleague when my stories and questions become repetitive. We’ll see.
