Men: What Sort of Role Model Are You for Your Boys?
How did society fail them?
I just finished reading the article of a fellow writer today regarding the failure of boys in society today who do not grow up to become men. Not just men but having the proper tools to develop into appropriate men.
This will not be preaching or a sermon. It will be, however, the wisdom gained from growing one son and mentoring many along the way within the confines of life and work.
Unfortunately, I grew up in a house where my Dad cheated on my Mom. He did it publicly and, even on numerous occasions, took me along. I’m embarrassed to share this, but I do so in the context that it did not taint how I felt about women. If anything, it grew my respect.
My mother raised eight children; it is because of her that women are to be coveted and respected as worthy partners in life, not as doormats or less than partners in a relationship.
My father did not teach this to me, but I did to my son. When that lesson is not shared at home by parents, a journey with potentially many negatives shadows the boy as he grows into a man.
So many lessons have to be shared with that developing male mind. Besides respect for girls and women, they must be taught responsibility and the need to shelter and protect those weaker or underprivileged. Along the way, vulnerability and sensitivity should be allowed and encouraged.
The most important of these teachings is fostering confidence through acceptance of failure, but more critical in this lesson is not quitting. A loop, so to speak, of allowing mistakes and stumbles but then teaching the value of getting one up, dusting oneself off, and forging ahead. Not just one lesson but a series over time to polish the stone and cement the teaching.
As that young man leaves home, he should have the fullness and proper strength of character to make his way into a world that will test him at every turn. Most importantly, he can now project himself into society and be a viable candidate to women as a partner if he chooses. He has the tools to be a responsible, caring, loving example to his son and continue the best legacy option.
If the influencers today of young men do not discuss or demonstrate any of the teachings above, how can we expect anything different from what we see in the behaviors today?
Suppose the examples many see online are disrespect, degradation, and the adverse treatment of women or others as acceptable. How can we not be surprised by how selfish, afraid, incompetent, and introverted they act?
In closing, I wrote an article not long ago about why we have mass shootings in the US. I placed the blame on parents and parenting. My belief was, and still is, that all the lessons and examples our children need to occupy and fit in properly within society begin at home.
This article about boys and men is not different.
Boys need development and teaching from fathers with further enhancement from mothers. All can not be learned from one but from both as a partnership. We have failed society with boys because we stopped along the way in teaching them how to be proper men.
As we advance, and because we have seen a breakdown of family structure, the multitude of single-parent homes, financial hardships now replacing essential parenting, and the pressure of social media influence, should the question be, “Is it wise to even think about being a parent at all?”.
Thanks for reading.
P.S. Just a few days ago, I saw this article.
#BOYDAD POWER! Men’s Health
“The crisis with boys and young men you’ve probably heard about? It’s real. But you know what else is real? The joy of raising sons and the need to celebrate boys and young men for all the ways they’re awesome.”
If this is the beginning of a movement that will grow across our society, I’m excited to see it. I encourage you to seek out this article and read it.
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