Time Heals, But Only After We Do What Is Required of Us

Accountability is the beginning of redemption

Mukundarajan V N
Pragmatic Wisdom

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A hand holding a clock
Photo by Elena Koycheva on Unsplash

The passage of time will never automatically heal inner wounds inflicted by adverse life experiences.

The pain of suffering may fade over time, which provides temporary relief.

Physical wounds only heal when we treat them properly.

Psychological wounds, too, require our attention and tending.

People may hurt us. Injustice may deprive us of our due.

We cannot play the victim card and wait for miracles to happen.

What we can do is take responsibility for our lives. Healing from the pain of suffering is a journey, not a particular moment when we feel everything is over.

Grief

The death of a loved one, whether a family member or a pet, topples the world, which we take for granted.

Grief is not solely about death. Its causes are varied. Instances like losing a job, a breakup, or caring for a dementia patient can also cause grief. Grief is not something to heal from; it’s an experience to be processed, which informs our beliefs about life and mortality.

Healing is only required if we treat grief as a wound. Some people treat grief as a wound; others process it as an accident.

The one lesson we learn from grief is life’s impermanence, which we know intuitively but fail to internalise.

Moving forward in life doesn’t necessarily signal the end of grief. We can never erase the memories of our loved ones, can we? We carry on because we respect their memory and honour their legacy.

Time is an ally if we don’t rush to escape from the pain of grief and move forward gradually.

How we process grief is up to us.

Injustice

Being a victim of injustice is a bitter pill to swallow. People, including partners, family members, friends, and colleagues, betray us. People cheat and harm us unexpectedly.

We can carry the bitterness of resentment inside us or we can try to heal the inner wounds.

We can seek justice either through the law, through mediation, or directly by negotiating with the perpetrators.

What’ll we do if justice is denied to us? We can carry on the fight or move forward through acceptance. The choice is ours, depending on our values, our will to fight, and the resources we have.

Acceptance is not about forgetting the offence or forgiving the offender. It’s up to us to forgive the wrongdoer.

Acceptance is surrendering to the cosmic scheme of things and to the karmic underpinnings of life, many of which are inscrutable, unpredictable, and invincible.

The passage of time will help us move forward without deep resentment if we embrace acceptance wholeheartedly. Randomness shapes our lives more than we like to admit. Luck works both ways.

Some misfortunes are harder to overcome, like being born in a war-torn country. The lottery of birth can undermine our ability to fight adversity.

For the majority of people who live in countries with political stability and social security, it’s possible to rise above adverse circumstances if they take responsibility for their lives.

Time is a healer that demands accountability for doing what we can to improve our lives.

We can develop our talents and do our best to seize growth opportunities.

We can expand our luck surface area by learning new skills, trying different things, seeking the help of mentors, and networking with new people to find the sweet spot where our skills intersect with the unmet needs of society.

Time is an enabler and facilitator of healing, not a magic wand to dramatically improve our lives, even if we don’t lift a finger to make a change in our lives.

Grief and injustice are unavoidable, but not insurmountable.

Redemption from suffering happens to those who co-opt time as an accountability partner while striving sincerely to overcome life’s challenges.

Thanks for reading!

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Mukundarajan V N
Pragmatic Wisdom

Retired banker living in India. Avid reader. I write to learn, inform and inspire. Believe in ethical living and sustainable development. vnmukund@gmail.com