Part II : Asian American Men & Dating: How bad is it really?

A & M
Asian Identity
Published in
5 min readMay 18, 2016

Last time, we talked about the state of Asian American Male dating and how bad it was for Asian Men. Let’s look deeper here. Especially within asian races. Afterall , unlike the opinion of america ,we’re not all Chinese ! The following data is from Asian Nation.

First, keep in mind that these numbers are only for marriages in which both spouses are U.S.-raised (as opposed to being first generation) , which shows the influence that US culture , or perhaps white culture has on minorities and relationships.

The numbers tell us that within the “USR + USR Only” model, several ethnic/gender groups are more likely to outmarry than to marry endogamously (within their own racial group): Filipino and Korean men, and Chinese, Filipino, and Korean women. Basically everyone except for Asian Indians.

Further, this model shows that Korean women have a White intermarriage rate of almost 61%. That may seem unbelievable but in this particular instance, the numbers do not lie.

You should not take the data at face value , but this data has also been referenced in many other studies that look at US raised intermarriage rates , which have reported similar proportions. You can check them at the link listed above.

Isn’t true love supposed to be a two way street? This data shows that, in this reality at least , love is not a two way street , but a one way street. But Why?What are some possible explanations for the discrepancy? Multiple theories have been suggested by psychologists and sociologists: a desire for acceptance, hyper-gamy, the fetishization of Asian American women and/or the emasculation of Asian men rooted in the origin of anti-immigration laws like the Page Act, anti-miscegenation laws, and social engineering.

AsianNation — Interracial Marriages

Whatever the implication, high rates of out-marriages to another Asian of a different ethnicity or in particular, to Whites, has led many sociologists and psychologists to analyze why Asian Americans choose to intermarry with Whites. One theory emphasizes that marrying a White person is the ultimate form of assimilation — and signifies full acceptance by White society.

Therefore, an Asian American may marry a White person because s/he (consciously or unconsciously) wants to be fully accepted in White society. However, to many people, this theory sounds rather condescending since it presumes that the only reason why an Asian American would marry a White would be to fulfill a need for acceptance.

The related theory of hypergamy would also suggest that Asian Americans marry Whites to increase their social status, since Whites generally occupy the highest socio-cultural position in the U.S.’s racial hierarchy. In other words, even if a working-class Asian American marries another working-class White, her social status will still improve, compared to if she married someone else in her ethnic group or even another Asian.

The other issue that comes into play here is how Asian women are frequently fetishized. Historically, it was very common for Asian women to be portrayed as docile, subservient, exotic, mysterious, and/or seductive. These images can be traced back to Chinese prostitutes who were “imported” into the U.S. back in the 1800s and through the prevalence of “war brides” (Asian women marrying U.S. military servicemen) after World War 2, and these images are constantly reinforced and perpetuated in the media.

In summary , some of the key reasons why Asian women date out include:

  • s/he (consciously or unconsciously) wants to be fully accepted in White society.
  • Asian Americans marry Whites to increase their social status, since Whites generally occupy the highest socio-cultural position in the U.S.’s racial hierarchy.
  • Asian women are frequently fetishized, leading to a assumption that Asian women will do anything for white men.

What do Women think of Asian Men?

According to a survey that was done by Peter Chua, White women , Asian american women , and immigrant Asian Women were asked of their impressions of Asian American Men , versus that of White men. When immigrant asian women were asked what they thought of Asian Men , they ascribed characteristics such as “Valuing traditional roles”, “College Graduate”, and “Romantic”. White women were also surveyed , and saw asian men as “Polite”,”Nurturing”, “Romantic”,”College Graduate”,”Valuing Traditional Roles”, “Exotic”,and so on. But when Asian american women were surveyed , none of these characteristics were ascribed to Asian men. None. What gives?

IN CONCLUSION

Stop chasing the dragon. Sure, I get it. Y’all wanna date white girls and motorboat pink nipples because you have this crazy idea that you’re getting back at your white massas and their dog collared Anna Lus(What’s an Anna Lu? More on that later…..) But this is nothing more than a craven desire for acceptance and/or internalization of the race hierarchy imprinted onto your neurons from over 100 years of cultural oppression. If you like a certain white girl, and they like you back, fine. But don’t believe for a second that you’re somehow “advancing the cause” thru your personal or romantic life. DO YOU, FOR YOURSELF.

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