Introduction
Where is the complicity with racism in the resistance to male domination? Why do Asian women always bring up Asian men as being patriarchal and misogynistic? How come they always bring up Asian men as being misogynistic , but never question these traits in whites? These are just some of the question that all Asian feminists should ask themselves. In this write up, we will explore the reasons behind racialized desire among Asian women. In “An intersectional approach to resistance and complicity: The case of racialized desire among Asian American women”, the study conducts an analysis of interviews with 128 second-generation Korean and Vietnamese American women in southern California. Most these women were students at in the UC college system. Given the large local Asian American population, respondents who state a preference for white males are not responding to a lack of available heterosexual Asian American partners. The rest of this write up will also discuss various important points from this paper.
In this study, respondents who expressed a desire for white men invoked racialized gender stereotypes of masculinity that idealize white Western men as romantic ‘egalitarian knights’ and denigrate Asian American men as inferior, domineering partners. These circulating ideas of Asian men were used to glorify white masculinity, while denigrating Asian Masculinity.
Those respondents who prefer white men see it as a strategy for resisting Asian American men’s gender oppression; however, they overlook white men’s gender oppression and some Asian American men’s commitment to gender egalitarianism. The analysis finds respondents commonly draw on four widely circulating ideologies promoting white men’s racial and gender domination in explaining their romantic preferences:
- A: Essential racial differences (in other words, alt-right type “race realism arguments”
- B: White male supremacy
- C: Orientalism
- D: Pro-Asimilationism
Case Study A: Essential Race Differences
In a recent popular thread on r/Asianfeminism a user by the name “mathmajorgrad” discussed the “politics of desirability” in which she claimed:
Its biological desire. Woman are attracted to men who appear more ‘developed’ with distinguishing features. We usually want taller, broad shoulders, and defined jawlines. We want men look like ‘men’ not boys. You will see similar trends among other cultures. [1]
This type of thinking, where biology is used to explain racial differences and codified into racism is a common line of thinking in White Supremacist ideology. American Renaissance [2], a white supremacist publication, uses these ideas of racial realism and biological differences to claim that “Asians have a higher intelligence then whites, but are uncreative.” It also uses these ideas to explain why blacks are naturally violent, as well as personality differences in different races. Mathmajorgrad has used the race realism to try to explain why Asian women are “naturally” attracted to white males. In doing so, circulating ideologies by whites is used to explain her romantic preferences.
Case Study B: White male supremacy & Pro-Assimilationism
Acknowledging White male supremacy is acknowledging the belief that white males are superior in certain characteristics, traits, and attributes such as attractiveness. In this comment by Cheese role[3], she states the following:
I think everyone needs to acknowledge that attraction to certain races comes from the inherent racism in society, and growing up in such a society means that this subconscious preference is not something that you can control.
As a WoC with a white male SO, I fully acknowledge that being raised to internalize that white people were the default, that white people were more attractive, that white people are more sophisticated had a hand in me dating this guy. Whatever I might say to try to offset that — that he’s thoughtful, that he’s a strong ally, that he fights the patriarchy — don’t erase the fact that I found his facial features attractive because that’s what I’ve been taught was attractive. In contrast, though I’ve had negative experience in dealing with men of my own race, I acknowledge that it’s the set ideas of what MoC must be like that contribute to any indifference toward MoC as a so-called ‘dating pool.’
The type of behavior is a textbook example of giving into white male supremacy: it shows that she acknowledges that white males are “superior”, but she does not do anything to fight it either. Although she acknowledges the effect that white supremacy has on her, she places no attempt to resist it, therefore this shows her compliance with white male supremacy.
Case Study C : Pro-Assimilationism
Dating white men means being “accepted” into the white power structure. It means gaining power from being associated with whites. It means being able to escape your “Asianness” by shunning your differences and supporting the racial and gender domination of white men. But we all know that one will never be allowed to share power.[4]
I date white men because the term “model minority” grosses me out. I date white men because it feels like I’m not ostracizing myself into an Asian ghetto and antiquated ideas of Asian unity. I still see myself as a minority. And with that, pretty soon comes connotations of “outsider.” And I don’t like that. Dating white men means acceptance into American culture. White culture. [5]
Case study D: Orientalism
Sandra, a Vietnamese American, remarks:
I won’t date [someone who is not assimilated] because I think they’d expect me to be like the traditional Vietnamese girl, like cook for the husband. That’s not me. That’s a role I could never fulfil. And in some ways, I think they’d probably look down on me because maybe they’d think, ‘‘Oh she’s bad because she goes out. She’s outspoken. She talks back.’’ That’s one of the reasons why I wouldn’t date someone who’s not assimilated.
Assumptions that someone who is not assimilated will conform to traditional and backward gender practices excuse the possibility that other societies can also be egalitarian. More importantly however, it reiterates orientalist assumptions that Asia is backward, gender traditional, and impervious to change, while the west is “modern” & “Gender progressive”.
“ASIAN MALES ARE PATRIARCHS!!!!”
“Asian males are patriarchal!” is a common accusation lobbied at Asian men, as an excuse to idealize white male masculinity. How does this strawman come about?
Strawman such as “Asian males are patriarchs” stem from a depiction of Third World women as the epitome of the passive, oppressed, gendered subjects (Narayan ‘‘Essence of Culture’’; Ong) who suffer from their “patriarchal men”. Obviously, that isn’t true. However, as explained in Internalized Racism ; ideas such as these, repeated enough become knowledge that is not questioned.
Feminist scholars have long studied the effects of global inequalities on relationships and sexual exchanges between Western males and non-Western women. This research initially framed Western men’s romantic and sexual liaisons with (putatively impoverished) non-Western women through tourism, the ‘mail-order bride industry’ and international matchmaking services as exploitation (Glodava and Onizuka; Narayan ‘‘‘Male-Order’ Brides’’). Globally circulating imaginaries that cast Asian, Latin American, Caribbean and East European women as more subservient than their allegedly liberated white counterparts in the USA and Western Europe drives Western men’s demand for non-Western women. Fed up with the independence, career-orientation, materialism, assertiveness and egalitarian expectations associated with white Western women, Western men pursue traditional, subservient wives from abroad, or immigrant populations in their own country
In Economics, you must have supply and demand. If you don’t have enough supply, you must create false demand to drive the supply up. So, what do white males do? Women not from western countries weren’t giving them any attention. The answer to this is to craft false narratives and paint the men from these countries as being controlling, patriarchal, oppressed, passive subjects to drive these women into their hands. White males are so egalitarian, they must prey on impoverished women in poor countries, so they can be “liberated” from their oppressions.
Women who pursue white Western romantic partners through travel, immigration, the Internet, matchmaking services and sex tourism are now cast as strategically engaging with white hegemonic masculinity to resist the ‘patriarchy’ of their homeland or co-ethnic men in the immigrant communities of the West, at the same time that they are re-generating discourses that support white Western men’s global dominance. These women view Western men as romantic, gender egalitarian ‘white knights in shining armour’ who can rescue them from a so-called ‘ethnic patriarchy’ (Nemoto 5) and provide economic security, access to careers, cosmopolitanism and an elevated status
First, by painting themselves as “White knights in shining armor who can rescue them from ethnic patriarchy”, and crafting a narrative where these ethnic men are oppressive, sexist, patriarchal, these two parts drive these women into the dominance of white males. Hollywood in this respect, is the primary tool in which white males craft themselves as white knights that rescue females from an “evil ethnic patriarchy”. Thus, when Asian women bring up Asian men as being patriarchal and misogynistic, it is one :an effective tool to deflect criticism, and two: willingly supporting white male supremacy.
Asian American women who marry/date white American men often invoke this imagery in describing white men as offering greater mobility, and being more ‘egalitarian” then Asian American men. These reasons as used as a basis of comparison with Asian men of which Asian men are denigrated as controlling , patriarchal , misogynistic, etc.
Example 1: Cheeserole
Oh no, here I am in a country with a population of 75% white people, and 3% Asian people, the latter of which tends to be concentrated in specific urban areas which are NOT my area. You’re right, it’s not a choice, I was just brainwashed into the HHITE BEAUTY instead actually having less of a pick to choose from. Nevermind that most of the Asian men I’ve met and befriended in my lifetime have been misogynist churls who prefer to assign blame than to introspect. ……[goes on] [6]
Example 2.1: An Inter-sectional Approach to Resistance and Complicity — The Case of Racialized Desire among Asian American Women [7]
So I was thinking maybe I should go for a Caucasian to marry because I’ll be happier, you know? [Interviewer asks: Why do you think marrying a Caucasian would make you happier?] Well, I’ve never really dated a Caucasian before, but I hear that most of them don’t treat their women like a possession. Like they want communication instead of the woman always doing what the man wants. Like in Korea, or actually many Asian cultures, the girl is expected to be like submissive and real quiet, not talk back to the husband, be the husband’s slave. I don’t think a white guy would be like that. If I married a white guy, then of course he would be nontraditional. But with a Korean guy, well, you do anything the guy says pretty much. It’s like they have this power over you that you can’t do anything about because it is not our place to [emphasis added].
Example 2.2:
Mimi, a Korean American state:
Most Asian guys have this expectation that Asian women belong at home and they shouldn’t go out at night, whereas I think a white person feels that a woman has a more equal status with the man, and she can do whatever she wants.
What Mimi ‘hears’ and believes about racialized masculinities is based on the widely circulating imagery perpetuated by Hollywood, which shapes her expectations of white and Asian American men, rather than actual contact and experience. Rather then actually date Asian men, those who claim that “ Asian men are X or Y may of had zero experience with Asian men at all, instead basing their claims on assumptions that come from the media. This is the power of propaganda: by creating fake reality where Asian men are perpetuated with lies about their masculinity, it allows two-faced racists to easily sleep with asian females, while simultaneously slandering Asian male’s masculinity.
Example 2.3:
Even though Jennifer acknowledges drawing on her experience with only one white man, she nonetheless uses him as evidence of white and Asian men as polar opposites. Such over-generalization is common in these narratives. Some respondents who have not dated or interacted much with Asian American or white men admit their racialized assumptions are not based on actual contact. Jennifer, also Korean American states:
Let me go ahead and make one comparison. I know I’m judging all the white guys from this one white guy [I dated], but white guys are very chivalrous. Maybe they don’t open doors and stuff like that, but they do what you would expect to only happen in fairy tales. Asian guys don’t do that. They don’t really give a shit.
What these interviews collectively show is that asian women tend to glorify white masculinity, while denigrating Asian masculinity in explaining their romantic preferences for white men.
A perfect example of this phenomenon by mathmajorgrad again:
Personally, I view white men to be more physically attractive than asian guys. I enjoy men with well-groomed facial hair and chest hair. Plus, they tend to be taller and more muscular average. Find me an asian guy who fits that trait, and I would gladly date him. But you’ll find those features more common on white men. But that’s just my personal preference. There’s no need to write some bullshit thesis about my preferences. They are purely personal and don’t represent all asian women[8]
The repeated use of these explanations is connected to the way asian men and white men are interpreted. Each are interpreted in a different frame. Whereas Asian American men as interpreted ‘‘dominant’’, ‘‘mean’’, ‘‘dictators’’, ‘‘not liking a girl who has too many opinions’’, ‘‘treating women like property’’ and ‘‘wife beaters’ ‘as depicted by Hollywood stereotypes, they depict white men, on the other hand, as attractive, romantic, loving, sensitive, communicative and gender egalitarian traits also depicted by Hollywood.
I don’t date asian men because ……
It’d be like dating my brother! he’s controlling like my father, etc. Maybe you have heard of these. And maybe you haven’t. But as it turns out , these statements are just another form of denigrating Asian male masculinity , and furthermore , a generalization of Asian men. Many of the women who were interviewed associated their fathers with a air of despotism and domineering, and also associated these behaviours with other Asian American males. They assumed that Asian American men’s gender attitudes would not differ across generations, regardless of whether they came from Asia, or USA. Just as whites think Asians to be a collective, monolithic , and invariable , these women view Asian men as if there were monolithic.
Star, a Korean American, says:
I think my dad turned me off to Korean men. I don’t find them attractive and, like with my Korean friends, there is no way I could picture myself with someone like that. Because they are still into that old Korean thing where they want their women to be submissive and stuff. I mean, they won’t say it but you can tell.
Jen, who is Vietnamese, states:
I am not attracted [to Vietnamese males] because I am thinking of the way my dad is. I love my dad but I would never marry someone like him. So, that is probably why I tend to not look that way [toward Vietnamese males]. […] My dad doesn’t understand why I am so outspoken, which is why someone like him would be very incompatible because we would always be arguing. You think that a Vietnamese guy was raised by [Vietnamese] parents so they must have given him their values. That is the way I think of it and that is why I don’t look that way.
The behaviour and character of these women’s fathers are generalized to all Asian men……but it is hard to imagine a white woman referring to their father’s dominance as a reason why they would prefer to marry a man who is not white.
White male domination and privilege means that white men are not subjected to stereotypes based on the ‘bad’ behaviour of a few white males.
HOWEVER ……
Racial oppression, on the other hand, including that which has been internalized by the oppressed, encourages the over-generalization of the ‘bad’ behaviour of a few men of color to the entire group. In fact, respondents do not generalize the male dominance of their fathers to all males, but only to Asian males. Male dominance is not regarded as part of a cross-racial system of gender inequality but a racialized feature of Asian masculinity. Meanwhile, in the case of white men, the positive traits of egalitarianism and chivalry associated with one white boyfriend are generalized to the entire group.
What this demonstrates is the power of Hollywood in winning the consent of Asian women in internalizing their own oppression, through the implantation of generalizations like these thru racist images shown by Hollywood. These images and ideas shown by Hollywood became assumptions that asian women do not question.
Therefore, when Asian women produce these excuses for not dating Asian men, they reaffirm a racial hierarchy where whiteness is privileged and superior. These women are Asian White supremacists.
Why those that defend AFWM are complicit in our oppression
The racial myths that glorify white masculinity and denigrate Asian masculinity persuade and brainwash Asian American women, and women of all racial groups, from regarding Asian American men as desirable romantic partners, and encourage them to turn their gaze toward white men. This makes heterosexual Asian American women available to white men; as well, heterosexual white women are less inclined to view Asian American men as romantically appealing (Pyke and Nemoto). These dynamics help to explain gender differentials in racial out-marriage rates. Asian American women out-marry at nearly double the rate of Asian American men, and, when they do, are most likely to partner with white men
Conclusion
By framing a lack of attraction to Asian males as personal preference [i.e. “I just like White guys, it’s just my personal preference. I like what I like.”] this Behaviour presents anti-Asian racism as normal, and glorifies white males. While these Auntie tans can provide lists of derogatory stereotypical traits [short , small dick , that mathmajorgrad comment above],few question these stereotypes and few question the role that internalized racism , white worship plays in this behaviour. When racism is so fully woven into the fabric of society it becomes common-sense thought, this racism becomes normalized resulting in phrases like ‘‘I’m not attracted to Asian males for some reason’’ and ‘‘I don’t know what it is.’’ By linking asian male to gender inequality , auntie tans can obscure the patriarchal practices of white men and their racist! preferences by pretending to resist against ‘ethnic patriarchy’.
Appendix
This essay is based on : An Intersectional Approach to Resistance and Complicity: The Case of Racialised Desire among Asian American Women
[2]https://www.amren.com/news/2011/09/a_new_theory_of/
[4]https://www.reddit.com/r/aznidentity/comments/5x7n1d/internalized_racism/
[5]http://www.xojane.com/it-happened-to-me/asian-woman-dating-asian-men-jenny-an
