5 Myths About Introverts
That are simply not true
Introverts are commonly pictured as shy creatures, holed up in their house, cuddled on the couch, under the covers. They are seen as overly sensitive, artistic types that lack social skills.
I personally considered myself an extrovert up until this past year when I learned about my personality type. I am guilty of falling for the common misconceptions that I didn’t think I identified with.
The truth is, the word introvert does not describe how we act. Yes, certain characteristics apply to introverts and their personality types. However, the word introvert or extrovert was used by Carl Jung to describe how a person recharges their batteries to get their energy up.
Introverts direct their energy inward. Extroverts direct it outward. The rest is up to personality type and environment. There is no typical introvert. As with anything, introverts and extroverts exist on a spectrum of varying characteristics.
5 Common Misconceptions About Introverts
Introverts are shy.
This is probably the most well-known misconception. Shyness and introversion are not interchangeable. Shyness refers to anxiety and awkwardness around social situations. When someone is shy they are exhibiting a behavioral response that represents fear.
Just because introverts tend to be quieter it does not mean they are feeling stress around social situations. Many introverts are extremely confident in social situations.
I consider myself very outgoing, which is part of why I thought of myself as an extrovert. However, I can be standoffish and quiet when I first meet people because I tend to observe before I dive in. And that is a function of my personality type, not my introversion.
Introverts don’t like being around people.
Introverts need alone time to get their energy. That does not mean that they don’t like being around people. Again, I am outgoing and very social. I like being around people. I like parties. I like grabbing a cocktail with the girls. However, like all introverts, I have a threshold for how much social activity I can withstand before I get tired and overwhelmed. All introverts are not created equal. My introverted husband doesn’t need as much social interaction as I do. We all have different limits.
Introverts do tend to enjoy smaller crowds and more intimate gatherings where we can entertain intellectual conversations. Just because we don’t all love raging parties or weekend extravaganzas does not equate to being antisocial. And we deeply care about our inner circle. It may just be smaller than our counterparts.
Introverts do not make good leaders.
Leaders are often pictured as assertive, outgoing people. Extroverts and introverts both have skill sets that enable them to be outstanding leaders. Introverts make good listeners which can be a desirable trait to have in say a boss or a CEO. Introverts take the time to think through and sleep on decisions. Because we drive our energy inward we can take the time to reflect on a situation.
Introverts also don’t tend to compete for the spotlight. It is true, most of us do not enjoy being the center of attention. However, being a leader has nothing to do with being the center of attention. Leadership has nothing to do with extroversion or introversion. Not all extroverts are bold and not all introverts are quiet. Leadership qualifications need not depend on whether you need alone time or social time to level up on your energy.
Introverts are socially awkward.
This one kills me. In fact, when I googled being socially awkward, I came across many articles with the word introvert attached to the description. Just because we don’t love being the center of attention and tend not to be loud and boisterous, does not mean that we are not comfortable in social situations. Being socially awkward means that a person feels threatened by social situations. There is a fear of acceptance; insecurity around others if you will.
Many introverts are deeply thoughtful and articulate. Again, they are good listeners. They don’t need to own the conversation but that doesn’t mean they experience anxiety in those situations.
I don’t love small talk. I am better at expressing myself in writing rather than in the verbal form. I am observant of new situations. None of those traits have anything to do with introversion and everything to do with my personality type as a whole. All of my cognitive functions contribute to those factors.
Introverts are depressed.
This is another misconception that blows my mind. Since when does being quiet and reserved equal depressed? If someone enjoys alone time, it does not mean that they are struggling with depression or anxiety. It means they are comfortable being alone.
According to the American Psychiatric Association, “depression is a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think, and how you act.” Extroverts experience depression just as introverts do. Being an introvert does not inherently make you depressed or more prone to depression.
My mind is an entertaining place, full of intriguing thoughts that I enjoy spending time with. I like being alone. I am not sad about it. I do not feel the need to isolate myself from others. I am not depressed.
Preconceptions and prejudices are damaging in any situation. When we learn about a certain trait that someone has and immediately attach all of these labels to them, we are doing them a huge disservice. I want to be known for who I am as a person, not what one trait means.
If you find out that I am an introvert and immediately decide that it must mean that I am shy, socially awkward, not a leader, depressed and antisocial, then I am honestly at one with stopping the friendship there. Get to know the real me. It may bust all those myths you have associated with one small personality trait.
