Find Your Space
The necessity of solitude
I live in a small house with six people. We have sufficient living space, but not a lot of opportunity for solitude. I need solitude. I need it to relax, reflect, and rejuvenate. I think we all do. Introvert or not, everyone needs time and space to do some internal work.
Depending on your life circumstances, you may have ample solitary time and space available to you. Take advantage of it. Appreciate it. Use it well.
In my case, it takes some work to find it. I have to be intentional, and if I can’t find it, I have to create it.
I’ve identified two spaces that work well for me.
The Silent Nook
Because my home doesn’t offer a lot of personal space, I’ve identified a small corner. A nook that I’ve outfitted with a comfy chair and a small table with a lamp. This is where I go when I have time in the morning. Before anyone else in the house is awake, I settle myself down in the dark. The only visibility is the low light offered by the lamp. This is important. The darkness allows me to focus. It shuts out what’s going on around me. Though no one is up yet, there’s still the signs of activity all around. Toys on the floor. Bills on the desk. The sight of these can be a huge distraction, reminding me there’s something else to do. The darkness allows me to hide from these things for a moment and focus on my time. All I’m aware of is my coffee, my book, and my thoughts.
This isn’t a space I use daily. When the kids are in school, we’re all up at around the same time and there’s breakfast to make and kids to get ready. Not prime time for quiet.
On the days they don’t have school, whether it’s the weekend or a break, I savor this morning time. The absolute silence is the perfect environment to read, pray, and occasionally write. Even spending only thirty minutes here is the perfect way to start the day. I leave home feeling energized and ready to handle the day’s work.
The Inspiring Shop
Another space I use to recharge is my favorite coffee shop. It’s not dark, quiet, or solitary, but it offers the same benefits. The steady stream of people entering and exiting, the conversations surrounding me, the traffic seen out the window don’t typically create a huge distraction. Perhaps because I have no responsibility for any of them. I’m just a neutral observer. I remain very mindful of what’s going on around me, but the noise and activity don’t pull me in.
My solitary time here differs somewhat from my nook at home. Here it’s a more active solitude. I’ll read occasionally, but I mostly go here to write. Whether it’s writing a post like this one or simply writing out my thoughts, this is where I’m most productive. I’m able to focus my thoughts and get them on paper. It’s here that I’ve created and here that I’ve worked through some of the heaviest decisions I’ve had to make.
When I want to create a post, I don’t always sit down knowing where I’m going. But this environment gets me writing. I enter into a discovery mindset. After an hour, if I haven’t written something worth posting, I’ve at least written something worth editing.
At other times I’ve poured out my thoughts onto the page. These thoughts only meant for me. And after an hour, if I haven’t created a clear path, I’ve at least gained a greater understanding of how I think and feel about what’s happening in my life.
These spaces are vital to my health and my ability to build into others. When I neglect using these spaces, I quickly become tired and ragged. I have no patience with others or myself, and the things of life weigh heavily on me. Taking the time to retreat provides opportunities to create, organize my thoughts, and build into myself.
Where’s your space? If you don’t have one, find it. If you can’t find it, create it.
