and Love comes to kill
There’s just too much
Words are too much
It’s too much
I forgot what I’ve been holding on to
But I’m still holding tight
I know there’s a world outside my head
But I’m stuck therein
and rage bellows silently
weeping
It’s the wave of shame
crashing its name into my ears
germinating fear
establishing roots
vying to shoot me dead
When I’m already dead.
A thousand times I’ve come to this place with you.
A thousand times we’ve waited
for a voice.
One can’t fabricate a miracle
Can’t warp life’s texture
How wrongly it may drape
And I’ve tried crying myself to sleep
I’ve tried blaming others
I’ve tried everything to hold on
until the next paltry distraction
I want to die, but I don’t want to die.
When I’ve believed a lie for so long
and grown into its crevice
I have become the emptiness that light once reached
and let it live rent-free in my bones
How can I die if I am empty?
How can my bones survive?
What is empty can be filled
And upon filling ceases to live
and love comes to kill.
Maybe that’s how you die without dying
