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A Narcissist

This is my journey away from myself and toward others. I want to stop destroying people’s lives. I want to live my life with others. I want to form real relationships. I want true intimacy. That’s what I want. But it’s not what I look for.

Shipwreck

2 min readFeb 17, 2023

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Photo by Sam Moghadam Khamseh on Unsplash

Talked with Stacey on the seabus in the evening.
She was troubled, but beautiful a long time ago.
She talked a lot about how she was a great ice skater and she would make the NHL, but…
She was carrying piles of travel brochures for people in shelters to try to get them outside.
She is on stress leave.
She could strike up a conversation with anyone and hold it tightly.
She talked with her body.
She requested to babysit my kids.
She told me many of her guy friends jumped off the bridges.
She also tried to take her life that way, but didn’t.
I let her know that I was disappointed in that choice.
She hesitated.
I told her that we wouldn’t be here right now having this great conversation.
yeah, she hesitated. yeah. you’re right she said looking off to the side.
I know I’m right.
Yeah you’re right.
I never broke eyecontact
yeah, she accepted
you’re an angel she said
I laughed and told her I’m not going to say anything to that
you’re trouble she said
I laughed. alright.
you’re definitely trouble.
a shipwreck on a calm sea
standing to disembark
she friendly slightly leaned on me
offering her shoulder to my arm
she had a nice smile and was easy to talk to
she walked away and I took the bus home

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A Narcissist
A Narcissist

Published in A Narcissist

This is my journey away from myself and toward others. I want to stop destroying people’s lives. I want to live my life with others. I want to form real relationships. I want true intimacy. That’s what I want. But it’s not what I look for.

Matthew MacLennan
Matthew MacLennan

Written by Matthew MacLennan

A recovering narcissist. I want to see your eyes and face your questions.

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