How to live a happy social life in a new place not knowing anybody around? How to build relationships in a place where you are a newbie?
I have been changing the city twice so far always knowing only one person. I want to share with you 10 tips that help me feel at home in a new country quite quickly.
- Cultivate your passion
- Look around professionally
- Don’t hide yourself in your matrix
- Be proactive
- Always stay in touch with old friends
- Smile
- Go out for a coffee with social media
- Join language exchanges
- Be open-minded
- Be patient
1. Cultivate your passion
People who are keen on the same things are one of the best sources of new relationships. I love singing so coming to Malaga I was looking for a gospel group. I didn’t find any that singing only on this type of music, so I started a new gospel project.
The research time was not a waste of time, though. I found a local private music school where I got to know the talented people sharing the same passions. I learnt a lot from them and with them.
Photo source: Camm Malaga.
At the same school I took part in scat and gospel workshops, when I met a few local band artists and got to know people from other cities of Spain. I got to know a few local famous artists. Thanks to being open to passion, I had a chance to take part in local choir festival Canta en Primavera.
2. Look around professionally
Business is built on relations. Visiting local meetups is a great chance to get to know new people. Malaga is home of Malaga Makers. It’s a startup community meeting which gathers geeks, entrepreneurs, and startup founders.
Meetup platform gives you a chance to meet a lot of people from around the world. It’s quite popular in different branches so it’s worth checking if you are new to a city. This way you can also discover various local initiatives and business owners living close. Who knows how it will finish and what you may learn from these relationships.
If you are a freelancer working in a co-working space may be also a great chance to get to know loads of interesting professionals around.
3. Don’t hide yourself in your matrix
When you meet new people, don’t feel ashamed to say something more than a casual greeting. Stand up, go away from your laptop screen, go out and be open, listen, be human. Being active in communication does not hurt.
If you come to a city like Malaga, it’s not a huge problem to meet people from all around the world. Just go out and live a life. During the first three months living here, I got to know people who live here but are from Colombia, France, Albania, Australia and USA. I love international cities, it makes local culture so much more interesting.
4. Be proactive
Be a doer. Use the lack of something as a trigger to create. When a group you want to join doesn’t exist, create one.
Photo source: http://downloadwallpaperhd.com/
Do not complain that you miss something or you can’t find anyone who share your interests. Being a grumpy cat does not help in building human relations.If you do not try, nothing can help you to reach your goal.
5. Always stay in touch with old friends
Friends help you live through the time of change. The first months may be a bit harder because everything around is new.
In order to be a friend you cannot forget that they exist just only because you change a place where you live. Greetings to one of mine!
6. Smile
On the street, in a shop, in a queue, in a bus, the chance to meet new great guys is high. You never know whom you may meet and how knowing them can change your life. Be open to what each ordinary day brings you. This is how we met Ela and Douglas.
Doing shopping on a local food market we’re using Polish with my husband when suddenly some cheerful person with a wide smile told me Cześć. It turned out that Ela and Douglas lives in the same borough of Malaga, were new to the city, and have similar interests. Smile to people around!
7. Go out for a coffee with social media
When you don’t know where to go to meet the right guys google it, scan social media, look through some local blogs, join forums for expats. Why don’t you ask but also answer and share what you learnt so far? Who asks is the winner. Who helps gets a double prize.
8. Join language exchanges
If you don’t know a language well and want to live in a city for longer, learn it. It is fun doing it with locals. I started looking for the language exchange online and in a short time we organized regular meetings with four completely different people. We found three of them on the page called Intercambio. The fourth person contacted me on Facebook because I commented something in the local group.
Two couples that we meet with are from Malaga and the third, Roberto, is the teacher from San Fernando, Cadiz province of Andalusia. It is really awesome way to get to know new people, the accents, traditions, and what they are up to. Whether you meet face to face, sightsee their city, talk on skype, what’s up, or go on a weekend trip, it’s awesome chance to make new friends.
9. Be open-minded
Being open-minded can for sure serve the moments of cultural shock and make you accept the differences.
Do not assess, respect, appreciate variety and the fact that there is no pattern that everybody should follow. You will learn a lot then, do not assume but ask, talk, try to understand. Be open to get an answer that may not fit your attitude to life, conversation then gest more interesting.
Huge number of people come to Malaga because of the sunny weather, fiestas, delicious food, great views. The atmosphere makes people more relaxed and open. This is a benefit fostering social life here.
10. Be patient
Come back in your mind to the previous place where you lived, recall how long did you build a real friendships, what amount of time passed before you could call a new person a friend. Everything that is worth attention grows organically.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=bwZqNwrwZh0
It’s sure that you have one life so build meaningful relations. You can get to know hundreds of people but just only part of them can become your close friends. Quality not quantity matters.
Originally published at theonewhodo.es on March 23, 2015.
