The Exclusivity Spell Broken: the Power of Inclusivity

Aditya Tyagi
A New You
Published in
3 min readNov 6, 2019
Does the leader get to cross the bridge first or last?

I ended my last post (here if you haven’t read it) with a question: what would happen if one of us suddenly changed our outlook and became inclusive?

  • Two thousand years ago, an adventurous prince included all his neighboring city-states in a mighty force that would bring down the foremost imperial power of his time, and thus build an empire that would reach the ‘end of the known world’.
  • Many years later, a frail old man united a country divided by religion, caste, and geography to bring down the world’s most powerful empire’s rule in his native country.
  • A few years later, and an ocean away, a charismatic young preacher included people of all walks of life into a grassroots movement to bring fairness & justice to all.
  • At around the same time, a Bedouin tribal leader would unite his neighboring city-states, and etch a new nation in the desert sands — a tiny country that would become home to the world’s tallest skyscrapers, flashy malls, and all the trappings of a prosperous civilization.
  • Twenty years later, a former inmate, activist, and leader would include people of all colors in his homeland to create the ‘rainbow nation’.

This is not a history quiz; these aren’t questions from a TV question show. What is it then? It’s an exercise in pattern detection. You’ll see two words occur repeatedly in every ‘mini-story’ above: “unite” and “include”. Cryptically, you’ll also find the answer to my question at the end of my previous post. (If you’re wondering who these people are, the answers are at the bottom ;)

As long as human societies have existed, there have been people who have lead them. Some became tyrants, leading their people to ruin and misery. Others, become immortal, commanding a place in their people’s hearts long after they’re gone.

In a world of follow requests and followers, what does it mean to be a leader?

Simple: a leader is someone who includes. He/she includes each and every one, empathizes, and makes each person feel valued, wanted, and awesome.

Some examples:

  • At school, she confidently walks up to the kid no one is talking to during lunch break, and invites him to sit on her table.
  • At university, she makes sure that everyone even vaguely interested is invited to her gatherings.
  • At work, meetings are simply an excuse for him to include as many people as possible in the collective conversation. He’ll sit there, intently listening to the thoughts of others, rather than impose his own thoughts on others.

The simple fact of the matter is that as soon as one breaks through the spell of exclusivity, that person becomes a leader.

Simon Sinek, author of ‘Leaders Eat Last’, echos a similar statement. He notes that the most memorable leaders form a ‘circle of safety’ — where each person feels safe, secure, and free to express himself/herself. In the process, such leaders accrue followers, and eventually change the world.

In his book ‘Hit Refresh: the Quest to Rediscover Microsoft’s Soul and Imagine a Better Future for Everyone’ , Satya Nadella talks about building an ‘empathy-driven’ culture at Microsoft. Interestingly, he leaves the part out about building a ‘high performance’, ‘goal-getting’ culture. These things are automatically achieved when a empathetic leader is surrounded by followers who feel secure in the circle of safety.

Frans De Waal is a Professor of Primate Behavior at Emory University. In ‘Chimpanzee Politics: Power & Sex among Apes’, he observes that in primate populations, the alpha male is rarely the biggest, toughest beast. Rather he is the ‘consoler-in-chief’ of the nation. He is routinely seen taking care of other chimpanzees’ young, and often sides with the underdog in disputes.

And with that, my secret for leadership is out… it’s inclusivity, wrapped up in a blanket of empathy.

Ans.: Alexander the Great, Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., Sheikh Zayed, Nelson Mandela

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Aditya Tyagi
A New You

I like dance, data, reading, and telling great stories. I make memorable observations about life & everyday experiences. I’d like to share them with you.