4 Reasons Why We Find it Hard to Communicate with Our Kids
Have you ever felt that our kids become distant from us as they grow older — or after certain things that we went through, such as quarrels, disagreements, or even gestures? Well, there is something called “Violence communication”.
Yes! you heard it right, many families have been using such a method without knowing hence. Here are 4 of the essences of violent communication that you may have used in your parenting journey that may result in harder communication with our kids and further distancing.
Character judgment
It is a human habitual aspect that often judges its character or a person after they have done something or a certain movement before understanding the situation. We often judge them naturally if they were doing something Right, Wrong, Good, Bad, or does he have a good family upbringing background, etc.
Such judgment often holds a negative impression on our kids and with time and repetition, it may accumulate to cause further distancing between the child and the family.
Comparison
As we gradually start to expose our kids to more activity and responsibility, many will tend to think about why other kids are so great at this, that and comparing it to their own kids which bring the question of why and how can they do better and improve. Having such comparison often has a huge impact on a child’s inner self-confidence and their physiological development. The more we compare our kids to another the more we find that it harder for them to listen as they tend to rebel, and even have the thought of “I’m not perfect, you can go find that perfect kid”
Avoiding Responsibility
I believe we may have heard ourselves mention “I have no choice” and that's why I did this to my kids. Often it was revolving around the level of severity in punishment at our kids or how strict as a parent we should be. Well, many parents/ family has been using the word “I have no choice and that's why I hit our kids as an act of discipline” or, “well it's not fair for an outsider to understand the family and judge what's right and what's wrong”. But what we do understand is that have we explored deeply the many available alternative options that we could do to motivate, to change, to redevelop our kids to learn what is right. The words “I have no choice” can be very dangerous that could lead or justify what we can do and can cause harm. Well we do have a choice and all parents do. It just does we find the time to understand the roots of the problem and explore the alternative option.
Threatening
I believe we have all experienced our parents saying “if you don’t behave you will not have this or will be punished.” We may believe those words are conditioning, but the more we tend to use them the more it will start to lean on threatening. Especially with younger kids, we must be more cautious as they tend to learn from us and we won't wish to enter violence communication with our kids.
There you have it guys, thanks for reading up till here and I would love to share with you more about parenting journey and my childhood experience as a child, so do hit a follow and clap if you like to see more related article of the parenting journey check out my recent stories here.
