6 First-Time Dad Tips I Can Now Give After 6 Weeks of Fatherhood
It was almost too easy — until it wasn’t. But it’s so, so worth it.
“I was meant to be an awesome parent.”
I grew up as one of those guys who always knew that someday, I wanted to be a father. And because I had that belief, I just thought I would become an amazing dad. There was no way around it.
But when I found out that my wife and I were expecting my first child, reality hit in a big way, as I’m sure it does for every dad-to-be in that moment. For the first time, I started to have doubts about just how good of a father I would be.
How will I discipline him? Will I lose it if he freaks out on me in public? How do I even hold him once he’s born?
Our pregnancy still feels like a blur — it went by so fast, only to creep to an agonizing standstill when he was eight days past due, and then insanely fast again when he was born just under three hours upon arrival at the hospital.
People would routinely tell me how I would quickly forget what life was even like pre-baby. They were absolutely right.
But in these six weeks, I can say I’ve navigated the initial phases of the roller coaster that is parenting, and I can confirm my baby is still alive and breathing!
Here are six big things I’ve learned already:
1. Don’t Let Week 1 Fool You
Maybe it’s the natural high that comes from meeting your baby for the first time, but that first week was highlighted by an irrational sense of confidence.
My wife and I were “crushing it,” according to one of our postpartum nurses, and for about a week, it was actually smooth sailing.
My brother-in-law once told me —
“New parents get on this crazy high of confidence because newborns really are just like a sack of potatoes — all they do is eat, sleep, and poop.”
And in the early going, it becomes almost formulaic. Feed him, change his diaper, rock him back to sleep, repeat.
It was almost too easy, guys.
We hit Week 2, and then suddenly, he didn’t want to go down for naps anymore. And when he did, he wouldn’t stay down for very long. We’re talking 15–20 minute naps, and then a very loud, screaming baby who couldn’t fall back asleep followed.
Like a Steph Curry hesi and stepback 3, our son lulled us to sleep and into this false sense of confidence. But the good news is, things eventually got somewhat easier.
You start to realize just how much of a rollercoaster parenting really is — one night can go amazingly well, you try to do the same thing again, and the next night is something completely different.
If you’re a new parent, enjoy that first week of formulaic bliss. Just know that things will start to go a little off the rails. But that’s OK, and where the real fun begins!
2. You might start thinking your baby hates you
But babies can’t have hate in their hearts! And I never thought I would actually feel this way, but it did reveal itself after we passed that “easy” first week.
What used to be an easy put down for a nap now turned into an ongoing 30–60 minute back-and-forth affair. Combine that with me being a WFH dad trying to juggle multiple responsibilities, along with that loud, shrill type of cry coming from my son, it was a recipe for me to start losing my cool.
It took some time for me to really understand that those cries were not out of spite or dislike of what I was doing, but more likely because he’s a helpless newborn, adjusting and probably going through various body changes of his own.
I needed to be the level-headed, composed parent for my son, and look at it more as a collaborative relationship to try and get him what he needed. I couldn’t look at it like a me vs. him thing, which I hate to admit was very real.
3. Dance, monkey, dance
Now, if you can naturally carry a tune or are blessed with rhythm, this one shouldn’t be a problem!
I didn’t want to be a believer, but lullabies really do work. And even if you can’t sing, there’s no shame! Maddox is very partial to Bruno Mars (high musical standards already!), and his go-to’s are “When I Was Your Man,” “Young Girls,” and “Count on Me”. Anything to make him fall asleep!
Not a huge surprise either, but motion and rocking also help.
Six weeks in, I’ve rocked my son to sleep so much that I just naturally get into a rocking motion even when I’m standing still. I often find myself swaying back and forth like I’m dancing a Level 1 version of the hula.
I had no idea I would be singing and dancing as much as I have with my son, but anything to get him to catch those sweet zzz’s.
4. Let your family help
One that sounds fairly obvious, but if you’re like me, you always want to be involved and present. Or you just don’t like asking for help.
But over the holidays, letting my parents, mother-in-law, or any eager relative hold my son for an extended period of time was BLISSFUL.
Working remotely with a newborn means spending nearly all day, everyday with your kid, so any time you can peacefully get away from them is a gift. Even better when it can be with your trusted family members.
You gotta remember too — not only are they eager, but they haven’t spent their whole day/week/month with a newborn, so those cries that normally stress you out completely are likely music to their ears.
Take advantage!
5. Me time is crucial
I was definitely ready to be that very involved dad (I sense a theme here) who would do diaper changes, bottle feedings, playtime, the whole nine. But I quickly learned just how tiring that can be.
I see that with my wife as well, who’s currently on maternity and spends nearly her whole day with our son. You start to learn, you need to devote SOME time to your own hobbies or interests, just to maintain some sanity.
It’s tougher than it sounds, but I’m realizing you need to be proactive about scheduling me time. For me, it’ll revolve around working out and staying in shape (no dad bod here) and getting back into writing!
Whatever your muse is, be purposeful in finding ways to work it into your schedule. Invest in yourself so you’ll be an even stronger parent / role model.
6. Sleep rules ALL.
Another one that sounds obvious, but until we were in the thick of it, I didn’t realize just how paramount baby sleep really is.
It dictates EVERYTHING, from his mood, to our mood and sanity, to how we can divvy up our own time and responsibilities — it’s endless.
If I could do it over, I would heavily research sleep training methods and have an idea of how you and your partner would like to approach it with your baby.
And outside of all the baby tech products you’ll be recommended, outside of the essentials like the stroller, car seat, and crib, definitely invest in a GOOD mattress + bassinet.
Baby will sleep a majority of the day, and you want to be sure they’re as comfy as possible — so you know if they’re not, it isn’t because of what they’re lying on.
Another pro tip: blackout curtains. It was completely off my radar, but once our son had trouble sleeping, mimicking nighttime during the daytime with those curtains was super helpful.
Combine it with a white noise sound machine and you just might get your baby to nap during the daytime.
BONUS PRO TIP! Upgrade that iCloud (or Google) storage
Baby pics, be prepared to take A LOT of them. I was not someone who would freak out over a new baby pic when I received one—not even really for my own nieces. Something changes though when it’s your kid.
And now I take photos of my son ALL. THE. TIME. Totally biased opinion, but he’s the cutest little thing of all time. And I upgraded my iCloud storage just so I can capture every smile, yawn, and furrowed brow as possible — like this!
As someone who spent the better part of their early career hyper focused on work life and climbing the ladder, I now see that fatherhood is my most important job of all. It is truly special. Just look at that face!
