Are We Parenting or Performing?

A question of authenticity.

Brig Berthold
A Parent Is Born

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Photo by Joel Filipe on Unsplash

“Are you being a parent? Or are you playing a parent?”

This was the question my therapist posed to the group. One of the few times we were allowed to focus what we were learning in session on something other than ourselves.

I commonly heard something like “Don’t worry about being a dad, right now. Focus on you.” I was surprised by the question. But, honestly, it’s a terrific question.

Are we performing or are we parenting?

Have you ever considered it? I certainly had not. Each moment fluttered by, punctuated by the firing of six gazillion synapse connections. Perhaps it goes without saying but I grew concerned.

Was I performing a role? Was my parenting more play-acting than anything else? If so, who was my audience? My daughter? My family and friends? People on the internet?

If you’re anything like me, you analyzed everything just now. If you’re a millennial you shoved it through our favorite filter; authenticity.

More than ever we use this word to question our thoughts, our actions, and anything else we can think of. Moreso than any faith we’ve ever adhered to. More than any ethics we may have encountered. Authenticity is my generation’s…

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Brig Berthold
A Parent Is Born

I am a father, widower, and veteran. Co-host of the Baseball Together podcast and author of Sidekick: A Pregnancy Field Guide for Dudes.