1. There exists an animal called the “Velocipig” — a half-velociraptor, half-pig that flies, breathes fire and occasionally pees in children’s beds at night.
2. When a bee stings you, you die and go to heaven — unless you’ve been bad in which case you go to a place with millions of bees and they sting forever.
3. Penguins buy their tuxedos at Old Navy.
4. When bears hibernate, they dream of doing belly-flops into a pool made of honey.
5. The houses beavers make out of sticks is called “home base”. It is not called a “dam” because dam is a bad word and any kids who says it will lose desert.
6. White cows produce regular milk. Brown cows produce…
