Fostering a Language of love in Children

You’ve probably heard the term “one-sided love,” but “one-sided talk” may be unfamiliar to you: A language of love

Afzal Badshah, PhD
A Parent Is Born
5 min readApr 2, 2023


Author with his son during a walk

The first one-sided talks are far sweeter and more intimate than the first one-sided love. When you first hold your baby and share your love, exhaustion, and pain with them, the same emotions float through your eyes as gratitude. The child looks at you blankly. After a few months, they respond with a smile, a year with sweet sounds, and two years with their sweet dialect, turning your pain into a smile. They are not unfamiliar with these one-sided conversations. These are the sounds that nourish and comfort them.

Being active and talking to children one-sidedly will help them build early vocabulary until they can speak. As they grow older, they become more active, try to pass on information through the discovery process, and keep themselves active. They, for example, have some favourite animals, and you relate a story to them. They will assist you in moving the story forward as soon as you name the first animal.

A comprehensive guide of parenting and schooling by Dr. Afzal Badshah

When you take the child for a walk, tell them about what you see and try to relate it to stories or what they see in the video. When you pass by these items again the next day, ask the children what they are called. Not only will their vocabulary grow as a result, but you will also form a strong bond with them and create memories for their future.

Take the child to the park or on a nature walk. Educate them about the animals or plants you see. Explain the various colours and shapes that can be found in nature. Ask about what they see; this will help them memorise and understand their surroundings. Discuss the various colours, shapes, and sizes of the things they see, as this will help them develop their language skills.

What methods do you want to use to increase your child’s vocabulary?

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Once I had a trainer who was extremely sensitive about the whiteboard. She used to say; to use the whiteboard very carefully. Make sure that every word you write is correct. If you, as an educator, transfer one wrong word to the whiteboard, the same mistake is passed down through the generations. The same happens with parents. If they use the wrong words, it is inevitable that the children will take it seriously, believe what the parents say and pass it on to the next generations.

When I was a school student, there were only a few teachers in the school. In the high section, the same teacher used to handle two classes. There were no possibilities of teaching the entire curriculum. Trigonometry was taught in the last few days for examination purposes. Where did the miscommunication come from, I heard seta in place of theta and took it down. Later, when I went to college, everyone else read theta, but I read Seta. At this age, children retain everything, making it harder to adjust their words and attitudes later.

While I was writing these memories, my son was playing with me. I get a call and I end with the words “Okay fine”. For the next several minutes my son, who is not even two years old, keeps repeating. Okay fine…. Okay fine…. Okay fine…. Okay fine….

What inappropriate words does your child use, and where did s/he learn them?

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Photo by michael podger on Unsplash

Whatever you say, do, or yell at the child, it is all recorded in the child’s mind. A vast database is now being updated. It could be correct or incorrect. There are no rules in the child’s head at this time. However, as this child grows older. In his mind, rules begin to form, and he chooses who is good for him, who is worthy of his love, and who deserves his hatred.

Often there are problems at home and they discuss them in front of their children. Husbands and wives argue in front of their children and insult each other. All this is very dangerous. Although, if we are bad, we should stop this evil somewhere and should not transfer this bad behavior and words to future generations.

My heart feels as if there are conflicts between two individuals somewhere in the market or even on the street, and they want to speak harshly to each other, but then they see an unknown child in front of them. Both remain mute, believing that this is our problem and that we should not pass it on to future generations. If our generation lives up to this promise, future generations will find paradise here.

As a parent, you wish your child to say Goodbye when you leave the house in the morning and greet you when you return in the evening. May they hug you, give you love and wash away your exhaustion from the day and the toxic environment of the office. For this, it is important that you also use the same language with the child. Speak the one-sided language of love to him when he cannot speak. When he starts speaking, he will return the same sweets to you.

Analyze the words your child uses. You will notice that these are the same words that are repeatedly used in front of them.

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Afzal Badshah, PhD
A Parent Is Born

Dr Afzal Badshah focuses on academic skills, pedagogy (teaching skills) and life skills.