Fathers, You’re Needed Now!

Fathers, forget the relationship issues and be an active parent today. Please!

Father playing with his son. Source: Pexels

Both parents are important for the well being of their offspring. Back in the 1900s, this was the norm. Today not so much. For one reason or another parents are neglecting their responsibilities, with fathers being the main culprits.

You may have realized that most families are lead by a single-parent mother —the father is the free radical. So how do we convince fathers to be active parents? And is it possible? Yes, it is possible. But I’m not sure what would be the most effective strategy. As a new parent, I would like to offer my contribution by doing the following:

• Highlighting the benefits of an active father.
• Share my personal experience of growing up with my father, who was a single-parent.

But first…

Let’s Talk Numbers.

The US has one of the highest rates of single-parent households (over 23%). But on the bright side, other countries such as China, Nigeria & India are on the lower end (3, 4 & 5% respectively).

Pew Research Center

Due to our actions — inaction — mothers are left to carry the burden of both parents (80%); it is like using a basket to carry water. This could ultimately trigger several long term issues.

I pause to say kudos to all the single-parents!

Single Mother Statistics That Will Blow Your Mind

The Importance of A Father Figure

Your role is of equal importance to the child as that of the mother. Researchers have shown that being present is significant to their upbringing.

Even from birth, children who have an involved father are more likely to be emotionally secure, be confident to explore their surroundings, and, as they grow older, have better social connections.

As I expound further, here are five benefits of an active father:

• Increase Confidence. Children with active fathers are more likely to have higher self-esteem. Leading to greater tolerance to stress/frustration and a less hesitant or fearful of new situations.
• Accelerate Brain Development. Fathers are known to practice a different parenting style than that of the mother. Providing an alternative avenue for exploration and creativity ultimately drives growth. Also, a playful father can bring more fun to the learning process. Besides kids learn better when they are having fun.
• A Role Model. Fathers help to shape the child’s perspective of the world. Your role acts as a template upon which the child will model their actions and behavior.
• Be More Caring. A child who has a father figure gets to experience the love of both parents. A stable home provides the right environment for this May even impact the type of relationship they have with others. I know every father care about their potential grandkids.
• Provide an Alternative Perspective. Moms are cool, but fathers own the igloo. A child may ask both parents a question and get a different response from each. This exposes them to an alternative perspective that develops their critical thinking skills. Fathers are known to be more relaxed and playful, no wonder why kids gravitate to them.

My Childhood

My dad is my Ubuntu — I am what I am, because of who he is!

I grew up in a financially poor neighborhood. But poverty is a relative term, so here is a glimpse of my past. We lived in a one-bedroom shack with farming being the only source of income & food. Finding food was a daily chore; no work=no food. This picture below reminds me of my home back then.

Example of a wooden shack — this brings back memories

Despite my living condition, I felt really blessed to have my superhero next to me. His words of encouragement & actions gave me the courage to cope and push through the challenges. Even when our backs were against the wall, he’ll do what he can and then say: “God will provide”.

Even though my dad and my mother separated before I went to the first grade, he was always there for me. He taught me how to be nimble, caring, independent, discipline, respectful among others. Today, all my decisions are based on the fundamentals he taught me. Thanks Dad!

Break The Chain

Maybe your father was absent during your childhood, but doing that to your offspring is no excuse. Break the chain today! Spouse related issue should never be your excuse.

You may be thinking it is too late to start, but I beg to differ. A simple walk in the park or regular meetups are very good starting points. Add a few hugs and an “I love you” cost nothing ($0.00) but are priceless gestures. By being there for the child you can steer him/her in the right direction with minimal effort. As my dad did to me, so can you to your child/children. Give them the much needed fundamental support.

Neglect your role and the child has a high likelihood of suffering from your mistake. These may play out throughout their childhood and into adulthood. The famous quote “Hurt people — hurt people”, sums up the potential consequence of your action/inaction. Just watch this 7min video for context

JamaicanDadz Podcast for Fathers

My life would have gone down the wrong path if my dad wasn’t present. Having understood his impact, I made a promise to be there for my offspring(s). I hope you make the same pledge today.

Walk good & take care!

Feel free to comment and share this and other articles with fathers — especially new dads.