Give Your Kids a Secret Code
It increases the chances they will ask you for help.
As a kid, I remember spending the night with a friend and waking up after a nightmare, alone and terrified. I wanted to call my mom, but I wasn’t sure it would be okay, and I didn’t want to be made fun of for leaving in the middle of the night.
When I was a teenager, I remember getting myself into less than ideal situations with no clear understanding of how to get myself out. In the days before cell phones, I would have had to use a landline phone to call my mom. That was taboo for any teenager to do, so I didn’t.
When I had kids myself, I never wanted them to feel trapped in a situation. Before the first kid went to their first sleepover, we made a plan.
If they felt uncomfortable for any reason, they could say that they had a stomach ache and that “my mom said I need to call her if that happens.” It didn’t happen that time or the next. But, several overnighters later, I got the call that Kid A had a stomach ache.
I went to pick her up. It seems nothing bad had happened. No bullying, teasing or feeling uncomfortable. She had just had enough and wanted to be at home. Soon, my other kids were getting old enough for sleepovers and other trips away from home. Each had an extraction plan if they wanted to come…
