How To Parent With Perfection
Without stressing about being the perfect parent!
Meraki
Have you heard of the term meraki? Greek in origin, it is one of those cool words that carries so much meaning but is hard to describe in one or two English words.
Urban Dictionary defines the word meraki (may-rah-kee) as: to do something with soul, creativity or love; to put something of yourself into your work.
Meraki: to do something with soul, creativity or love; to put something of yourself into your work.
This concept can be applied to anything from painting to cooking to gardening to…parenting.
We have all seen meraki in action.
Did your grandmother have that one special dish she used to make? You know the one. You loved it. You craved it. You were certain she made it every time just for you. You’ve tried to re-create it over the years but it never quite comes out the same way. You’ve even gone everywhere from fine dining restaurants to mom-and-pop joints trying to find a version that tastes as good. In the end, you always come up short. Nothing tastes quite like you remember it tasting in your grandmother’s kitchen.
Has your child ever made you a card or a piece of art work that you cherish? To anyone else it may look like some scribbles on a page with a few bits of string and macaroni glued on top. But when you look at it you see the time, effort and love your little one put forth. It was the first time they were able to write their full name with out help. They offered it up, looked at you with big eyes and said, “Here, Mommy, I made this for you.”
Maybe when you were little your dad stood up and applauded at the end of your first dance recital. You might have forgotten 10 steps, tripped over Becky Sue in front of you and then had your ballet slipper go flying off your foot. But what your dad saw were all the practice twirls you did around the house for weeks and the big smile on your face as you pattered off stage.
If so, then you intuitively understand the meaning of meraki.
Perfection vs. Perfect
Notice in the scenarios given above the word “perfect” did not appear. Not once.
That’s because “perfect” doesn’t count. Perfection does.
Perfection is when you do something to the best of your abilities. Perfection is when you give something all your heart, all your soul, all your love. Perfection is meraki. Meraki is perfection.
“Perfect” is artificial. “Perfect” is something we strive for so other people will view us in a certain light. “Perfect” is a standard used to compare someone or something against other someones or somethings. But, honey, to paraphrase the immortal words of Iyanla Vanzant, comparison is an act of violence against ourselves.
The biggest truth about “perfect”, the one that no one wants to talk about, is that “perfect” is never actually appreciated by anyone. “Perfect” is almost always resented.
Why We Desire to Be Perfect
Some may say that we are driven to be perfect out of an ego need. That may be true; but only on the surface.
I think we desire to be “perfect” because we come from perfection. We all come from Heaven. Heaven is perfection. So we are programmed, at a deep unconscious spiritual level, to crave the perfection of Heaven. It’s in the very DNA of our souls.
We long to return to that perfection but we get confused down here on earth and so we desire to be “perfect”. “Perfect” is not attainable. Perfection, however, is very much within our grasp.
Perfection is very much within our grasp.
Meraki Mamas and Papas
We can take this concept of meraki into every aspect of our parenting. What does that look like in every day life?
Warning: there are a bunch of run-on sentences coming your way, but I think you will still get my point!
It looks like… you spending more time making sure you teach your kids the things you wish you had known at their age and not that you spend money making sure they have all the material things the media tells you your kids can’t live without.
It looks like… you feeding your kids cheese and crackers and grapes for dinner one night because it was a crazy day and you don’t have enough time to make a “nutritionally balanced meal” and spend focused, quality time with them talking through the tough day they had at school.
It looks like… you not stressing out over whether or not your little one’s 5th birthday party looks exactly like that PinBoard on Pinterest but that you gather your loved ones together and celebrate the gift of the last 5 years that the Universe has given you!
It looks like…you saying “screw it” to the perfect holiday card photo because you don’t have time to wrangle everyone together, keep them clean, keep them entertained and keep them from crying long enough to get a decent photo. Instead of wasting time trying to get that perfect photo you spend that same afternoon reading stories or watching a fun movie together as a family. Then at the holidays you send postcards to everyone saying, “We were happy, healthy and blessed this year. Hope y’all were too!”
It looks like…you not having to have all the right answers all the time. As long as you invest yourself in each interaction with your child then that is what matters. That love, care and good intention is what their beautiful souls will intuitively pick up and cherish.
The Takeaway
Stop trying to be perfect.
Start interacting with your kids in perfection.
Parent with love.
Parent with heart.
Parent with selfless-ness.
Parent with creativity.
Parent as if you are the guardian of this little soul that is on loan to you from Heaven — because you are.
And you will parent with perfection every time!
