It’s Nice To Be Nice
A little conversation between me and my son.
Parents are surrounded by reminders of change and uncertainty. And so, we often try to seek out the right skills for our children so that they grow up better prepared for what’s to come. We want them to continue to thrive long after we’re no longer around to hold their hand.
From coding to creativity, finance to fashion, we wonder where the right mix of skills lies and what opportunities these qualities will be able to afford for our children. Children aren’t just naturally creative, they’re also a lot more innocent than this. Perhaps due to the tenderness of their minds or their sense of security in us, it appears to me that the skills that matter to them are a lot simpler.
On that note, I’d thought I’d tell you of this little conversation between my son and me that illustrates what to them might be the qualities to uphold in a perfect world. Not leadership, not victory — but something else.
The Story Within The Story
I was reading a book before bedtime when my son asked, ‘mum, what are you reading?’
‘1984.’
‘by George Orwell?’
‘How d’you know?’ I was surprised because he’s only 12 and more into authors such as David Walliams. He’s reading Code Name Bananas.
‘I know my facts,’ he said proudly. ‘He also wrote Animal Farm. We read that at school.’
‘Did you understand what it’s about?’ I asked.
‘About the pigs who want to be boss. Who’s your favourite character?’
Before I could reply, he added, ‘Boxer is my favourite!’
Boxer is a horse on the farm.
‘What d’you like about him?’ I enquired. Personally, I was so in love with the full story that I didn’t stop to think of a favourite character.
‘He’s nice and innocent and strong. He reminds me of Kanté. Kanté is the same. Google Kanté now! N’Golo Kanté from Chelsea.’
I Google Kanté and my son goes on.
‘He’s 5'4" and so strong! Now see him smile. It’s impossible not to like him! Google him. Google him. Mum, d’you like him?’
I have to admit, it’s impossible not to.
Moral of the Story
Although I was totally gobsmacked by the creative connection here and and delighted that he remembered the story so well, I’ll narrow this down to two key things!
(1) Learning to Listen:
Sometimes as parents, we try and teach the kids to talk. I think it’s perhaps a lot more effective simply to be ready and available to listen such that they feel heard. They’re really capable of talking, dreaming and expressing — we really don’t need to teach them that. In fact, I’d love to learn.
(2) It’s Nice To Be Nice
Apparently, it’s important to be nice and innocent and strong. Being the winner or boss isn’t all. For some, it’s just nice to be nice.
