My Dad Was a Bodybuilder and Maybe My Hero. This Father’s Day, It’s Complicated.

Early on, my Dad taught me how to treat my body.

The Good Men Project
A Parent Is Born

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Photo credit: iStock

By Justin Kolber

Early on, my Dad taught me how to treat my body:

Grooming. Go for the pink dolphin look: shave all body hair, then apply bronzer, body oil, and baby powder. I learned this fast because small child hands work best for application, so I helped him get in all the ripply muscle bumps and nooks and crannies.

Attire. The clothes make the man. Zebra-print Spandex shorts, neon yellow tank top, and cotton headband with lightning bolts.

Eating. Steam a swordfish steak on high broil, forget to turn on the microwave fan and have your wife yell at you. Pop loads of oblong “horse pills.”

Use it or Lose it. Strip down to your fluorescent orange bikini brief bottoms and dance-duke it out with six other middle-aged men in an auditorium. “I am the strongest!” “No, I am!” “I have the power!”

Win. Never lose. If the body was ever a cage, the barbell is the key. The body is the way out of boredom, depression and “average nobody” syndrome.

Pain. Ignore it at the gym but indulge it at home. Back and neck pain are the death knell. Replace the horse pills with…

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The Good Men Project
A Parent Is Born

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