My Soulmate Isn’t My Soulmate At All — And This Is Why It Works
This is what is real when it comes to love.
I married young, before all of my friends. Before I could legally drink.
Eleven years later, still married and having survived through tremendous ups and downs, I still wouldn’t even call my husband my soulmate.
Because here’s the thing: I don’t believe in soulmates.
The term soulmate, to me, is a troupe. A fallacy. There are billions of people in this world, how could we truly believe that the one we end up being with is our soulmate?
Truth is, the person we end up marrying or committing to, most likely is not our soulmate.
A simple defintion of soulmate is this:
1 : a person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament. 2 : a person who strongly resembles another in attitudes or beliefs ideological soul mates.
While I do believe that it is possible to find someone compatible to fall in love with, I also strongly disagree that said person can be perfectly suited for you. Life isn’t a fairy tale, therefore, your so-called soulmate doesn’t owe you a happily-ever-after.
The good news though is this:
Love is real. You can find your person. And while that person won’t be perfect, it’s downright possible to have a realistic and healthy relationship.
This is what is real when it comes to love.
Good communication
Love is about being able to communicate freely with your partner. When there is ongoing communication, there is a stronger relationship.
A strong sense of trust
Much like communication, trust is equally as important in love. Without trust, we cannot have love, and vice-versa.
Healthy and realistic expectations
People in real love understand that life isn’t going to go as planned. The candelight dinners and romance is nice, but it’s not always realistic.
Knowing when to admit you’re wrong
Love does mean having to say you’re sorry. Those in love realize when they are wrong and they admit to it.
An equal amount of give and take
Love isn’t all about getting what you want. It’s an equal amount of give and take — and the strongest relationships of people in love know how to balance the two well.
Shared responsiblites
Love is all about sharing the duties of adulting. Healthy couples may agree that when their partner picks up the slack, they feel more in love with them.
Apprecation and gratitude
Love would mean nothing if we don’t show our partner how much they mean to use. Apprecation and gratitude for the person in our lives goes a long way.
Learning from our mistakes
Love is real when it’s messy and a bit imperfect. When we learn from past experiences and do better, we will be rewarded to a healthier, stronger relationship.
