The Natural Birth Debate: What’s Really ‘Best’ for You and Your Baby? — Here’s My Story…
In May of 2019, I gave birth to my first child. The experience was everything I wanted and more. I had a stellar team of midwives that supported me through my exciting natural birth journey.
During the first half of my pregnancy, I was under the care of a busy OBGYN who was never available. So, when I switched to a team of midwives, it was a breath of fresh air to be treated with such attentiveness and care from the very beginning.
My natural birth experience was more than ideal. I labored in a nice warm pool of water and was not bound to the constraints of a hospital bed. Although I ended up pushing my son out while lying flat on my back in a bed, I was proud of myself for choosing to do so.
Fast forward to my second birth, which couldn’t have been any more different. During the third trimester of my pregnancy, I was told that my baby girl was experiencing Fetal Growth Restriction (FGR), which is when a baby stops growing at a normal rate during the pregnancy. The normal recommendation for this is to get induced at 37 Weeks and have a hospital birth since FGR automatically categorizes your pregnancy as high risk.
Talk about a curveball.
I was no longer able to do my pregnancy the way I wanted to and that made me very uncomfortable. As a millennial mom-to-be, I was constantly being told that natural birth is the BEST OPTION for me and my child. Plus, all the horror stories I had seen on social media surrounding African American women delivering in hospitals created a new fear for hospitals that I did not initially have.
So, after hearing the news I immediately called my Midwife in need of comfort and support as I was now being told that my dreams of having a home birth were coming to a screeching halt. I needed a bit of encouragement as I now had to do something that went against everything I had been told to do for the safety of my unborn child.
Instead, however, I received a peculiar and rather off-putting response.
“I looked over your ultrasound results that the hospital sent. I know how badly you wanted to have a home birth and I want to continue to support you in that decision. So, if you are still interested in having a home birth we could still do it for you.”
“Huh?”
At this moment I realized that I was treading in dangerous waters. What I needed at that moment was support to do the uncomfortable but necessary thing that would ensure the safety of my unborn child. But that is not what I got at all.
Did I give her the impression that I cared more about birthing in a tub than I did about having a healthy child? How are you supporting me in my pregnancy by doing something that clearly is not in the best interest of my child?
I was so confused.
Now just to clarify, natural birth is a broad term that is used to describe a multitude of birthing options. These options include having your child at a birth center, home births, and/or not receiving pain relief meds during labor.
For most moms that choose to have a natural birth, it is done with the intention of not receiving any form of pain relief medicine. However, for some (like me) that was more of a condition that came along with the decision to not give birth in a hospital. Because trust me if ANY form of pain relief had been offered at the birth center, I would have taken it. No questions asked.
Now any good midwife will tell you that if you are considered high risk, you are automatically referred to a hospital, and they will not allow you to go through with having a home birth. And if they are a REALLY good midwife, they’ll even stick by you through the remainder of your pregnancy and be there to support you through the birth. I know this because for my first pregnancy I had one of the best.
But why was my current midwife so sucky, and why did she feel like she was supporting ME by doing something that was clearly not in the best interest of my child? Aren’t ‘We’ (pregnant mamas and all healthcare workers alike) all on the same team? #TeamHealthyBaby?
The natural birth community believes in empowering pregnant mothers and creating a safe and comfortable environment for both mom and child. However, what happens when what’s best for the baby is not what is most comfortable for the mom, or when the environment is stressful or anxiety-inducing?
Staring into the eyes of my then sucky midwife I was dumbfounded. Was me feeling ‘empowered’ more of a priority than the health of my baby?
Well, the simple answer is yes. To her it was. But to me, it was not.
So, there I was doing the uncomfortable thing. Getting induced at 37 Weeks, lying in a hospital bed, with no midwife by my side, just one stellar nurse and an on-call doctor. To my surprise, the experience exceeded my expectations, and I received exceptional care from the very beginning.
I labored on a nice, springy birth ball. I wasn’t bound to the constraints of a hospital bed (just an IV) and I was free to have as many pumps of my epidural as I pleased. Although, I humorously ended up pushing my daughter out while lying flat on my back in a hospital bed (which was very reminiscent of my natural birth). I was so proud of myself.
However, for a moment, I let the expectations of the natural birth community dampen my postpartum joy. Was I a traitor for having an epidural? Would people think I was weak? But then, I realized that none of that mattered. The fact that I carried and gave birth to a child was an incredible feat in itself, deserving of recognition. It doesn’t matter whether I delivered unmedicated or with an epidural, lying flat on my back in a hospital bed or in any other position. Each pregnancy and birth is unique, and sometimes life throws unexpected challenges. What really matters is that YOU are making the choice to do what’s best for you and your child.
