Postpartum Depression Signs That Men Should Watch For
I had postpartum depression, and this is what I want you to know.
“I think I have postpartum depression.”
It felt ugly to say that out loud; like somehow, I wasn’t a real mom if I admitted that I was suffering from a common maternal mental health illness. As if the years of my depression, including during my second pregnancy, didn’t make me a prime candidate for the illness.
Nope. It still felt gross. Shame engulfed me and no matter how hard I tried, the thoughts of being a terrible person weren’t easy to shake away. Postpartum depression took away my joy, but it also left me feeling like I was not worthy of any love.
Postpartum depression is very common, affecting about 1 in every 5 women. It can begin within the first week after giving birth, and lasting as long as 1 year — sometimes longer. If untreated, postpartum depression can last longer and be harder to treat.
Postpartum depression stole a lot of time from myself and from my family. In the wake of my illness, my husband was left feeling defeated and broken. So many times he told me how he wanted to help me, but didn’t know how to. I’m here to say what I told him: you can’t help me, just be there for me.
There are many signs of postpartum depression. In the midst of being a new parent, it’s quite easy to get swept up in the exhaustion and chaos of it all, yet it’s pertinent to focus on any of these changes in your spouse or partner. Why? The sooner she can get treatment for PPD, the faster she can heal.
Postpartum Depression Signs That Men Should Watch For
Irritability and anger
It’s not just crying — anger and becoming irritable very easily is also a common sign of postpartum depression.
Depressed mood
Watch out for excessive crying and also severe mood swings.
Changes in sleeping
Exhaustion comes hand in hand with being a new parent, but be vigilant for a dramatic change in sleeping. Sleeping all day with no desire to get out of bed is a red flag. Also, it’s very common for PPD to show itself in insomnia.
Reduced interest in activities
When the things she used to love doing become less frequent, this may very well be a sign of postpartum depression.
Withdrawal from family and friends
If she would rather be alone and withdraws herself from family and friends, be aware that this could be a sign.
Difficulty bonding with baby
If she shows little to no interest in feeding, holding, or interacting with baby, this can be a tell-tale sign of PPD.
If she says she feels hopeless
Don’t take this remark lightly. Feelings of hopelessness and worries of not being a good mother are common signs of postpartum depression.
Declaration of harming herself or baby
A very serious sign of postpartum depression is confessing the need to want to harm herself or her baby. Get help immediately. Tell her she doesn’t need to go through this alone.
Be there for her during this dark and lonely time but also know that it’s 100% not your fault. I repeat, it is not your fault. It is also not her fault.
There are resources for helping women who have postpartum depression — talk therapy and medication can work wonders. Support groups online of women going through the exact same struggles. There is hope. There is help.
Below are just a few helpful resources:
When we normalize maternal mental health by talking about it and bringing awareness, we can end the stigma.
