Why Play Feels Like a Chore to Some Parents?
Where do they go wrong?
Inserting play into your daily routine makes everything easier they said. Well, I tried it. I started making up silly games to play with my toddler, hoping it would help us get through our day a bit faster.
At first, it was great! She was excited to get dressed and get ready for school because it was all part of the game. But then something changed.
The games that once brought joy started to feel like a chore. I wasn’t having fun anymore, and neither was she.
Fast forward six months, and we’re having a blast again, getting things done without it feeling like a big deal. I want to share what changed because it might just help you too.
Why Playing Feels Tough
The problem is many parents play ONLY when things are at stake and use it as a tool for faster obedience.
Here’s the thing: as adults, we’re all about getting stuff done. Society tells us we need to achieve, and if we’re not ticking boxes, we’re failing.
So, when we play, we’re often secretly hoping it’ll make our kids listen or hurry up. But that approach makes playing feel forced, and it takes the fun out of it for everyone.
Kids Can Tell
First off, kids know when you’re not really into playing. It’s like when someone’s super nice to you, but then you find out they just want something. It feels icky, right? Kids feel the same way.
They don’t want us to play with them just to get them to do stuff. They want us to be really there, having fun with them, no strings attached.
If we’re stressed about the next thing on our to-do list, they’ll feel it, and who wants to play with someone who’s not into it?
Dealing With Time
Kids, especially little ones under the age of 7, don’t understand being in a hurry. They live in the moment, which is beautiful but can also make sticking to a schedule tricky.
So, what do we do when we’re running late but want to keep playtime genuine? The trick is to see play as “connection time” instead of a tool to speed things up.
Even if it’s just five minutes, those moments where you’re fully present with your child can make a big difference.
It’s not about ignoring our schedules; it’s about making sure our kids feel loved and connected to us, even in the midst of chaos.
Play is their love language. So we need to be in the moment to share their joy and maybe even ease their anxiety. Believe it or not, after some genuine play you will feel better too!
As parents, we need to remember that and maybe ease up on expecting to be on time, every time. Planning a little buffer time for connection will immensely help if you have to be on time.
What if five minutes of play isn’t enough? Sometimes, it’s about giving them a little heads-up about what’s coming next without making it feel like a countdown.
I usually wait till the last few minutes of play to briefly explain what is to come with an excited tone.
And if they’re still not ready to move on, it’s okay to extend playtime a bit or use other gentle ways to help them transition.
The key is to play often so that they get used to transitioning to other tasks with ease. This sets the expectation for other scheduled activities because kids don’t like surprises.
Let Loose
Many of us feel self-conscious about playing because we’re worried about what other people might think.
I decided to challenge that by dancing with my kid in public. It felt weird at first, but then I realized most people don’t really care. Letting go of those worries can open up a whole new world of play and connection.
Find one thing that you are too embarrassed to do in public with your kid and do it. The more you let loose, the easier play gets.
Wrapping It Up
Playing with your kids is about more than just having fun. It's about showing them they're loved and valued, without any agenda.
Even on busy days, finding a few minutes to truly connect can make a world of difference. And sometimes, letting go of our adult hang-ups and just being a little silly is the best way to connect and have fun together.
So go ahead, embrace playtime – it's good for both of you!
About the Author
My name is Sanketh. Senior Data Scientist, Certified Parent Coach and proud dad of an adorable 2 year old. I help South Asian toddler parents reduce power struggles, tantrums, meltdowns, and have a better relationship with their kids.
Be sure to follow me on Medium for more helpful content!
