You’re Not Alone In Your Worries
To care is to be human, to care twice as much is to be a parent.
One day, my family and I were moving furniture.
We were in the living room and my daughter, a toddler at the time, was playing with a set of keys.
She was happily seated and immersed in her own world, and I had decided to sweep up the floor in the same area.
My back was turned for a split second.
As I turned around, I noticed my daughter making her way towards the wall, intent on sticking the keys in the electrical socket…the one electrical socket that did not have a cover on it (due to previously being behind furniture we had just moved).
I immediately yelled “NOOOOOOO!” scared that she would hurt herself.
Luckily my husband was near the wall and stopped her before she could.
I thought we had baby-proofed everything, but that was a split second that proved otherwise.
As a parent, your worries are doubled and even tripled at times. But it comes with the territory.
To care is to be human
So often the messaging in the media is about being brave, releasing fears, calming the mind, which in theory is great.
When it comes to parenting though it requires additional work.
Sometimes when our children are learning a new sport or activity where there is a potential for injury, or when they get sick or hurt, we have to put on a brave face and exterior for them…when in reality, in certain circumstances, we are just as scared they are.
You can’t control everything
We want to do the best we can for our kids and loved ones.
But at some point we have to realize that we can’t control everything they experience in life.
Sure, there are definitely certain negative experiences no parent ever wants their child to experience and we try our hardest to shield them from the dark sides of what can at times be a cruel world…
However, we know that the world is much more than that…it is also a beautiful place full of kindness, goodness, love and incredible beings.
As much as we want their experiences to be positive, we can’t shelter them from every negative experience.
And for those experiences that offer valuable life lessons, we really aren’t supposed to.
“The closest thing to shelter we can offer one another is love, as deep and wide and in as many forms as we can give”
― Mary Laura Philpott
Yes, when it comes to their education, basic needs and safety, we need to put fundamental things in place.
As long as we are understanding, loving and trying our best, that’s what really matters.
In her book, Bomb Shelter: Love, Time & Other Explosives, Mary Laura Philpott reflects on her life raising her two teens.
She talks about a surprise condition her son is diagnosed with, the discovery of which was triggered by a big scare, with the family heading to the hospital.
Coming to terms with the diagnosis, she talks about all the different ways she’s cared for her kids from the moment they were born until now and explains that no matter how hard we try as parents to plan and prepare for everything…life throws things in our path that we need to learn about and deal with.
Difficulties are a part of life, but they don’t have to define it.
When we’re faced with tough circumstances, we can wish things were different all we want, but the reality is that in life, everyone will go through difficulties…both us and our kids.
We have to remember that we’ll also have fun, amazing and incredible experiences too.
Trying to plan and prepare for everything is impossible.
But denying our worries, doesn’t make them go away either.
Our concerns and worries make us human.
What we can do is channel them, plan where we can and then release what we have no control over.
We also need to make sure we care for ourselves in the process.
Hi there, I’m Royah Loie. I write about creativity, parenting and life. I’d love it if you’d support and follow my work on Medium here.
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