The Trump Bird & All The Trimmings

Trump, our esteemed national moron, has — with all the warmth and empathy one could summon while on the golf course — asked you to give thanks this holiday. Thanks to him for leading you out of the wilderness . Thanks to him for an unprecedented effort in keeping the craven swamp creatures from devouring your bounty before your taxes are due . Thanks to him that you are not yet eating off of paper plates or needing medical care for overindulgence.

So, as you gather with family and friends to enjoy your bird and all the trimmings, remember to a say prayer. Give thanks to both those who inspired his beneficence — the two uncle Joes, Stalin and McCarthy — and him, der kleiner fuhrer.

Stand up now and give him a heartfelt bird of your own. Amen!